To Our 7 Sweet and Wonderful Grandchildren

Brian, soon you will graduate from Middle School and move on into the High School arena.  You are in for a big surprise and I hope you do your best work in High School, like you've done all along!  You will be with your friends, and it's easy to get caught up in tom-foolerie in HS but I hope you have enough character to be true to who you are and get those A's.  I also want you to have fun and do all sorts of things.  Get involved.  Be a part of the social activities as well, but remember you are there to learn and to grow and to become an adult.  You will graduate in 4 short years, but those years are some of the most important years you will face.  It is the foundation for a good future.  Don't sluff off because your friends lure you into being a cut-up in class and get yourself a reputation for being a wise guy and a distraction to other students.  I was in high school at one point in my life too, and I haven't forgotten what it was like.  I was really lucky, I got to go to a brand new school with kids from 3 other schools that were overcrowded.  I was a member of the first graduation class of Castle Park High School in Chula Vista.  I had a great 12th year there.  We had a senior lawn that only seniors could sit on, we had a cylinder full of our predictions for 10 years in the future that was put in the ground of the senior lawn to be opened on the 10th reunion of our class.  We had great teachers that were interested in the students and in school spirit and we had one of the greatest school counselors ever.  I loved every minute of it. We had a cafeteria of course, but we also had 2 windows where you could buy hot dogs, chilli burgers, pizza, cupcakes, milk and other quick fixes.  They made the best chocolate cupcakes ever with about 2 inches of icing on top.  They were the bomb!  I graduated in 1964.  It was one of the best days of my life.  After graduation, my Mom, brother and sister and me went with my best friends family and we went to Chinaland which use to be a fantastic restaurant and miniature golf course over in Point Loma.  It was great food and we played miniature golf afterwards.  Then I got the disappointing news a couple of weeks later, that we were leaving San Diego and moving to Minnesota.  I had plans to attend Southwestern College, but that just wasn't in the cards for me.  We moved and I spent a year being miserable until I was 18 and flew back to San Diego alone.  I lived with my best friend and her family.  It wasn't long afterwards that my family moved back to California and I moved back home.  I spent a long time being ill, but I finally got better and got a good job with the Federal Government.  That's where I met your grandfather and the rest is history.  I've covered it in previous postings in this blog.  Someday you may be interested enough to read it, but if not, know that you don't always have control of the things that happen in your life.  Make the most of your education and persevere in your chosen field.  You will never be sorry if you make every effort in high school to be a good student and do your work.  Put your best foot forward.  You are a smart young man, good looking, and you have a lot going for you.  I am here if you need me, and so is Nine and Jack.  We all love all of you and will help you in any way we can.  I want to wish you luck here and hope that you read this so you will have a heads up about your next embarking into uncharted waters.  (The future awaits!  Be bold and make a name for yourself!)

Love You,
Grandma Bonnie 

Venus, you will be graduating from elementary school and going into middle school.  I will give you the same advice I gave your brother.  Make a name for yourself as a diligent student who always does her best.  You will make new friends and have many new experiences.  Middle school is where you lay a foundation for all you will learn in High School.  I myself had a ball in my senior year here in California.  My other 3 years of High School were spent in Kodiak Alaska and I was miserable all 3 years.  I hated it.  The kids were nice enough, but the school was small, they had nothing extra curicular to offer other than basket ball and cheerleading and I wasn't into that, so I just ate myself to death and became very fat and unhappy.  Then I met someone I fell in "puppy love" with and I started losing weight, and then found out we were moving to California and he was from California too.  We moved at the end of my junior year to Chula Vista and later in the year I got in contact with the guy I thought I was in love with, and he wrote back!  So we wrote for 3 years.  At the end of my senior year, my Dad moved us to Minnesota because he was in the Navy and that was his new duty station.  I hated Minnesota, but I found something great there!  I found God.  I came to know Him in a great way and He has helped me all my life.  I flew back to San Diego at 18, by myself, and lived with my best friends family.  If I hadn't come back, I'd have never met Jack.  If that had happened, none of you would be here and neither would your Dad or Uncle Alex or Sidra.  Everything has a purpose and everything happens as it should.  Life is an adventure.  I hope you have fun in middle school and study hard and make it count.  It could be one of the best experiences you ever have!  I am here for you if you need me.  You are my sweet baby and you are very special!  I wish you the best in your future years in school, and forever!

Love You,
Grandma Bonnie

Angel, you aren't graduating yet, but I want you to know you are in the process of preparing yourself for new adventures in a couple of years.  You have 2 years to go and you will be graduating and moving on to middle school.  You are smart, a good student, and you have good study habits.  You always do your homework right away and that's great!  I am proud of you.  I love you so much little flighty bird.  You are always having fun and laughing and you don't seem to worry too much about anything.  I want you to know I am always here for you and will always give you the best advice I can concerning your life and the many stages you go through while you are in the process of growing up.  I loved school and was learning a lot until we started moving around to different states.  Some schools were harder than others and I missed the 8th grade altogether because the school I went to after 7th grade, just repeated everything I had already learned, and I missed out on all you learn in 8th grade.  Then we moved to Kodiak Alaska where the schools were really hard, and I did very poorly in 9th, 10th and then finally in 11th, I made the honor roll, and won an award in an International Spelling Contest with other countries.  I had to spell 100 words correctly and I did it.  Words I'd never heard before.  I had to sound them out and I didn't make one mistake.  I got awards in the Shorthand class I took and the Business classes I took, but if I hadn't missed 8th grade, I could have taken the Academic Classes and been able to take foreign languages and Algebra and Geometry and all the things the "smart" kids were taking.  I have a very high IQ, which you have already been tested on, but without the foundation of all my classes, I missed out.  Don't put anything ahead of your education.  It is one of the most important aspects of your life.  I am here with knowledge to guide you and to be of help to you always, and if you ever need me, rest assured I am here for you!

Love You Always,
Grandma Bonnie


Kris, you are too little to read yet, but I want you to know I am crazy about you and will never forget rolling dice with you and playing basketball with you.  You are only 5, and you are so little and yet you are so athletic and like to run and play and play football and you are a really good basketball player!  You and I roll dice and if we get doubles we get to roll again!  You are great fun, and you have a great future ahead of you.  Your school is so important and you are already learning a lot about the world around you.  I know you will love school and will learn a lot.  You love you teacher, Mr. Joe, and he seems to have made a really good impression on you.  You will know someday, how much we all love you and the depth of our love.  I wish you the best little one, and I will see you later!  Be good and pay attention to the world around you!  There is a lot to learn!

Love You,
Grandma Bonnie

Annalilia, I miss you honey and I don't know much about your school life because you don't live where we do.  I am sorry you live so far away.  We all love you and miss you and wish we could be a part of your life.  A bigger part anyway.  I know you are in private school and you like it.  Do your best in school because there you will learn the things you need to know to be a success in all your future endeavors.  Pay attention in class and learn all you can.  I can't imagine that you are anything less than your best.  You are sweet, and you have the direct approach when you make your mind up about something.  I hope to see you this year and I hope to make a trip to where you live and see your pretty home and where you live.  No one knows the future, and I can't say for sure we will make it to see all of you, but I am hoping for the best.  I love you, wish you the best in all you want to do in life.  You have a lot of adventures ahead of you.  Make the most of your life.  You won't regret it!

Love You tons,
Grandma Bonnie

Alex Jr., I can't say I really know you honey!  You were only 5 months old when you left, and you have been gone for 7 years.  I have seen you a couple of times and I know you are sweet and smart.  I miss you and wish I had been able to be a more active part of your life.  I want to wish you the best in school and in all you do in life.  I want to come and see all of you, but only God knows the future.  I know you are smart, I know you are a good boy for your parents, and I want you to take good care of your sisters.  I will try to do more to be more involved with all of you.  

Love YOU,
Grandma Bonnie

Maddy, you are so little and cute and so sharp!  You are one smart cookie!  You are precious.  I am glad I got to see you when you were just a baby.  I got to hold you and kiss you and I love you so much.  I know you can't read yet, but this will be here for you when you can.  I hope you do well in school and enjoy your life sweetheart.  I wish you all the best always and I hope to get to come and see you this year.  I miss you and love talking to you on the phone!  Be good, and I will keep in touch with you as you grow up.  Remember always that Grandma, Grandpa and Sidra and Uncle Brian and your 4 cousins down here in California love you and miss you and want to see you soon!  I love you Maddy.  God bless you honey!

Love, Grandma Bonnie   

Just to Reach Out to You Grandkids

Hi Kids!  Grandma has been amiss of late in writing to you here on Across the Years, and I have been observing all of you in the ways you carry yourselves and the things you say and do.  I know that having your parents in 2 different places is difficult, and you may have conflicting opinions and feelings about what's happening.  Your parents may talk to you and yet not confide in you as to what exactly is happening.  People grow apart sometimes and it's no one's fault really.  Your Mom and Dad just approach life in different ways and they don't seem to be able to reconcile the differences and continue on this particular pathway.  You always have a place here in my home and we can talk about things anytime you want.  I don't know your Mom's and Dad's hearts and I can't give you information if I don't have any myself.  Just know that your Mom and Dad both love you, Nana and Nano love you, Diego loves you, and last but certainly not least, Nine and Grandpa and Grandma love you more than you can imagine.  I don't like to see you have to carry on your daily lives when inside you may be churning and unhappy.  I want to see you laugh and smile like you did before all this happened.

This happened at a very difficult time for all of you.  Your become teenagers and going through puberty and that's hard enough when everything is going fine at home.  I can just imagine how difficult concentrating on your schoolwork must be when you may be angry and frustrated at your parent's situation.  Just know that your Mom and Dad are 2 very different people and no matter how often they talk, nothing seems to get resolved.  It's a difficult time for all of us.

BUT!  There is a God who loves you, all of you, even Mom and Dad and He wants to see things work out for all of you.  Even if you don't think so right now, if you ask God to help you and your parents, things will get better.  I pray for them, and you need to pray too.  Let them know how you feel.  If they knew how you feel inside and the struggles you are facing every day, and the anger you must feel, maybe they would explain things to you in a way that will help you understand both of them.  If you want to talk about your feelings and you can't confront your parents, you can talk with your grandparents and Nine and we will try to help you with it.  I don't want to go on and on over the same thing, I just want you to know that you can confide in us and we will try to help you.  I don't know what goes on in your mind.  You can express whatever you feel and we will listen and try to be of help to you.

We love you so much and that's the bottom line! 

Love You All,
Grandma

A New Design

Today my daughter Sidra and I began a new design for our lives.  She made up a calendar listing of things we are going to attempt to do on a daily basis, and yet have some time for ourselves to do some creative play and get things accomplished at the same time.  It's hard for me to chill and just do something fun, but this year is going to be a turning point for both of us.  I have a scrap book that was a Christmas gift and all the things I will need in order to decorate it and make it mine.  There will be draawings from Brian Junior, pictures of Jack when he was little, pictures of all the kids, grandkids, and grandma and grandpa dating back to early days all the way through to the present.  It will be so great to decorate and make things clean too.  I am thankful for the help because I am getting older.  I hurt in many places I've never hurt before and yet when I put on music that Jack and I use to listen to when we first got together, it makes me feel young and I can get a lot done.  You don't have time to mope either when you're listening to Led Zepplin or Aerosmith, or any of a dozen groups.  I can't bring myself to listen to slow music when I have things that need to get done.  I'll sample the slow relaxing strains of Jazz after the work is done and I want to rest and get into something fun. 

Today a crew of tree people came and started cutting down the big eucalyptus trees up on the hill across from our house.  They cut the tops off first because these trees have been there forever.  I am glad because the hill is washing away and pretty soon the roots will be exposed and a good strong wind could produce a dangerous incident to take place, like trees falling on our house or our awning.  There is a ficus tree that needs to come down in our yard, but I don't know if they will do that or even if it's scheduled to be taken down.  We want to put avocado trees in the yard and I'd love to put in a magnolia tree.  I want our yard to be really well done and I still want to put roses out front and just let the manager complain about things.  That's what managers do I guess.  It's our yard...I think we should have some say so in what the yard looks like.

I couldn't fall asleep last night until almost 1:00, and I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep,  I feel great though, but I did take a 2 hour nap that rather rounded things out.  I didn't have to take my meds right away because I got up around 2:00 last night and took 16 mg of Trilafon and that carried me quiet a ways today.  I got a notice in the mail about the pre-diabetes clinic we have to go to later in the month.  The 27th I believe.  We will go to it together and I'll take notes if necessary.  I will do whatever it takes to make Jack healthy and to help him lose weight.  His doctor will want to see him too I imagine.

I won't make this very long because I want to work on my scrap book.  I will make dinner and put those dishes in to soak and my day is finished.  I'll go back and work some more on my scrap book after dinner.  I don't think we'll watch TV tonight.  I think Grandpa wants to play with Nine.  I don't know if she wants to or not, but if he asks her I'm almost positive she won't turn him down.  As long as we get to do some things we want to do, I think things will work out fine.

So for now, I will say goodbye and collect the pictures I want to use in the book.  I know where the drawings are and this will be fun to do.

Happy reading. 

Bonnie

Cold Rainy Weather Here In San Diego

Today I woke up about an hour early, and got up to have coffee with my hubby.  I was pleasantly surprised that a friend of his had been referred to one of my sites and had left a comment!  I was so pleased.  I need to spend more time visiting others and letting them know I like what they're doing as well and maybe I'd have more readers!

I did all the things I normally do, dishes, cooking, etc., but it was grey and looked like rain and it was a day to just be cozy around the ol' homestead and I just relaxed more and enjoyed it.  The grandkids arrived around 3:45 or so, and I fixed them all hot tea and they did their homework.  Kris, the 5 year old, played a game on the TV and played with his basketball, and he was pretty content with his tea as well.  While they were doing their homework, I made them all some ramen and also made Jack's dinner to take to work.  It was hectic for a little bit, but I got everything done, and Jack left for work at 5:00. 

At 6:30 I decided to go ahead and make dinner for the ones who were here, and I made rotini with chicken and alfredo sauce, and warmed up some corn.  Everyone ate and we watched TV for a little while.  Then I got on the internet to post a new one on A Light In The Night, and sent an e-mail to my husband.  Just as I got started, the lightning hit the empty lot next door and the thunder was so loud I signed off and decided I'd finish it later!

I made fresh coffee, had a cup, and after talking with my daughter Sidra for a little while, I got back on the internet, as the storm had passed, and finished my post.  The children and their Mom left around 9:15 and the rest of the evening was peaceful.  I have music to listen to, a book to read, and maybe some more writing in my journal.  I had a very enjoyable day and just was at peace.  I am happy in my mind and heart, and I love my family and have a little place to call me own.  All in all, I have a very good life, and I am very thankful to God for all my many blessings, and for the people in my life that make my day's complete.  I am very blessed, and I like telling others that no matter what your problems may be, if you have someone to love, you can make it through just about anything together.  (Providing they love you in return!)  God loves us, even when we don't deserve it, and I am so thankful that there is a God, and that He promised to always be with us.

For now, I am going to say goodnight, and I'll be back tomorrow providing nothing unforseen happens.  

Goodnight,
Bonzo 

A Day of Rest and Peace

Today was unusual in that I woke up at 6:30 instead of having to be pried out of the sack at 7:30 which is usually when I get up to get Jack's lunch and coffee ready.  I took my medicine last night, fell asleep around 1:00 and then woke up so early!  It was nice because I felt so refreshed and at peace.  I have reached a level of competency with my medications, and they work wonders when you get it right.  I did a lot of posting and reading, listened to some meditation music and lit some candles and incense.  It was so restful and peaceful that even our dog "Dude" fell asleep on the couch.  My oldest granddaughter Venus, calls it my hypnosis music.  I think they like it though because they all get really quiet and just listen while they work on their crafts or whatever my daughter Sidra finds for them to do.  Sometimes they all go out to a local store and bring back things to do.  My daughter was a pre-school teacher before all the problems with the economy.  She also worked for Halmark and as a result has a ruptured disc in her lower back and can't pick up anything heavier than 20 lbs.  She helps me here at home and is a God-send when it comes to going to the store and just general things at home.  I would be so lost without my wonderful daughter.  She has brought so much happiness to me, and is my best female friend.  I love her to pieces.

In the every day running of the house, there are always dishes to be done, trash to take out, cleaning up after the pet, organizing things, and just generally being very busy.  I make iced tea by the gallons because everyone loves it and it isn't hard to do, just tedious.  I cook everynight and I've been trying to help all of us get healthy by putting everyone on the DASH diet which is a wonderful way to bring down blood pressure and tryglicerides.  It also is excellent for losing weight and we all need to do that except my oldest son Brian.  He came back home to live about a year ago, and had a problem with drinking and being overweight.  He has since lost 80 lbs, and stopped drinking and has turned himself around.  I am very proud of all my children.  They mean the world to me and I love them so much. 

Today is a day of reflection and peaceful pursuits and I really enjoyed posting to my other site, A Light In The Night.  I felt so led to really say what's on my mind and I am pleased with the results.  It's time to think about other people in this world and the conditions they have to live with.  If those of us who are overweight would think mindfully about what we are putting in our bodies and think about the children who eat ketchup in hot water to survive over the weekend because they're homeless and live on the streets, we'd all lose weight more easily.  It's disgusting to think of all that we cram in hand over fist while little children are going hungry.  I am going to fast I think and get my priorities straight.  I have a home, food, clothes, a truck, I have all I need in every area of my life.  It's time to look deeply into our motives and change the things that are wrong in our own lives and help the needy.  I want to set a good example for my family members of which there are 14 now.  My husband, our 3 kids, their wives, and the 7 grandchildren.  I am the oldest member of the family and have always been the oldest child in my Mother and Father's family.  I have always been a very strong person and said what's on my mind.  I feel I owe it to my family to change my ways, and I began doing it this last Monday.  I read a lot, meditate, pray and take care of my family.  We are in a desperate situation here in America.  It's time we all took a stand and be counted for what we are doing to help our fellow-man.  It's past time. 

A Nice Surprise!

Yesterday I was doing the things I normally do around the house, and Jack surprised me by saying we were going out for lunch!  We went to Rubio's for some good eats and it was really nice.  He had fish tacos, beans and rice, and a Snapple Green Tea.  I had a Balsamic-Roasted Vegetables and Chicken salad and an iced tea!  We sat at a high little table by the window and the food was excellent!  While we chatted, he mentioned that he's going to try to be more spontaneous for me, and I couldn't be happier!  It was really sweet, and I am so proud of him.  It takes a lot to change your way of doing things, but I think spontaniety is a wonderful trait and it add's so much to one's life and liveliness.  I have always thought that variety is the spice of life and tried to do as many different things as possible.  I am the same way with cooking, I like variety. 

Now that we are older, we have to watch out diets, and seeing that I have heart disease, and he has pre-diabetic symptoms, like high blood sugar, we will be attending a class to learn about the changes we will have to make for him.  We dealt with my heart attack and heart disease by changing our way of eating.  We both worked and we'd come home at night and he'd stand in the kitchen making spaghetti sauce from scratch for me, and insisting on me eating only the healthiest of foods and we made sure we had the proper foods for me in the house.  We all changed our ways of eating.  We will do the same for him now.  We recently started the DASH diet, and today I got on the internet and looked at diabetic foods.  They are very similar and that is not a surprise as the DASH diet is probably one of the best I've ever been on.  It has been a big hit and has so much to offer in the way of healthy eating and getting all the vitamins you need from your food choices.  It's nice to know that we won't have to make too many changes to what we're doing. 

Later in the day the grandkids were here.  They are always here on Monday's and Tuesday's after school.  They brought food for themselves, and that was nice.  I usually give them something when they get here to hold them until it's time to have dinner.  Kris was doing well, and playing with the I-Pad and the Video games we have.  Angel did her homework and Venus kept busy with the I-Pad once Kris lost interest in it.  Their Mom got here around 6:30 or 7:00.  Sid took the girls and went to Michael's for some hobby things.  I made dinner and Jack and Kris and I ate, and the girls ate when they got back from Michaels. 

No matter what comes, we will face it together like we always do.  We are a strong family and we help each other with life-changes and problems that crop up in everyday life.  We stick together...we help each other...and we are going to face this together too.  We have overcome so much in life, and we just keep ticking! 

The Long Road Home

Hi Grandkids!  It's been quite a while since I posted here, so I thought I'd get back to what I was trying to do, and that is to tell you about my life.  I am not going to give you any more speeches, you don't seem to be too interested.  I don't know if you're interested in my life story either, but maybe someday you will be.  So, after we moved to the house on Arapaho, we got back into the daily grind of the kids going to a sitter where they were just across the street from their school.  I was still working but had gone back to working for the Navy instead of the Internal Revenue Service.  I had found that my boss wasn't interested in my future and I just felt that going back to where I had the most experience would be a good move.  I was wrong, but you never know if you don't try. I eventually wound my way back to the same group of people I had worked with before, but I wasn't the only one.  One gal had been a co-worker since 1968 when I first started working for the government.  Her name was Pat and she was a very nice person.  I took a downgrade when I went to the IRS, so when I went back to the office I had worked in before, Pat was my boss.  I was working there when my Mom passed away.  My best friends Dad had passed away in June, Jack's Grandma passed away in August, and then my Mom passed away in September of the same year.  It was really hard having to deal with so much death all at once.  Then in April of the next year, my Mom's Mom passed away too.  I had been sick already and having to deal with all the changes was very difficult.  It was a good thing I was working with old friends, although my big boss, not Pat, but our boss Jim Meyers wasn't a very understanding person and was very upset that I was off for a week mourning the loss of my Mother.

I went back to work and eventually I got tired of being there and put my application in for a job elsewhere.  I was accepted, and made all the arrangements and did all the paperwork and changed jobs once again.  All the while the children were growing and when the boys were 12, we took them and their sister out of childcare and let them stay home in the evenings until we got home.  That was about 2 hours.  They had keys to get in the house of course, and I think Sidra usually got home first.  They did fairly well but sometimes they'd call and tell their Dad or me that they were sick and didn't go to school that day.  Once they told me Sidra threw up on the table and they were going to stay home and take care of her......uh huh!  I didn't find out till much later that that was a very "tall tale".  The boys were in the Mighty Mights Wrestling and Sidra was in ballet and jazz dancing.  We all went to the wrestling matches on the weekends, and afterwards we'd take them to the hamburger stand to eat and then home where they'd play outside till it started getting dark.  We all attended Sidra's shows which were held at the Civic Center here in El Cajon.  We usually would take the kids for ice cream as a treat after the show. 

Eventually the neighborhood started deteriorating and the boys got swept into it as well and they stopped going to school at 16.  They were old enough to decide, so the school district had determined, and both of them regretted it later on.  They got into gangs and I didn't even realize till later on that they were into drugs as well.  They got into trouble and one day we came home to police cars up and down our street and the road was blocked off at one end.  Alex had a  BB-gun and there was a fireman at the house next door that said he was aiming the gun at him and he called the police.  They had gone in the house and collected all the guns and knives we owned and had them in the trunk of the police car.  When all was said and done and they saw it was a BB-gun, they called us from the jail and said we could come and pick Alex up.  So Jack went and got him while I made dinner for the rest of us.  That was a day I would rather forget.  But we all survived, the boys got older and wiser and then Brian met Lorena.   I had retired from working in 1996 when Jack got offered a really good job and decided to take it and let me retire.  The job was very stressful for me, and he was worried I'd have another heart attack.  I was so happy the day he called and told me I could retire and take the early-out which meant I'd get $25,000.00 to vacate the position I was filling and they closed down the position and made one for a surveyor who would come down from somewhere in Northern California.  I was elated.  I couldn't wait to leave that job and was so thrilled to be at home at last.  We didn't get the money for about 6 weeks I think, but when we did, Jack and I went shopping and we bought the big surround sound unit for the living room as well as a new couch, and a nice recliner for Grandma.  Then I took Bri with me one day and we picked out twin mattresses for the kids.  At the time, our landlord had been coming down to check on the plumbing and made arrangements to fix some of the things that were wrong with the house. 

Lorena was still in school when she met Brian and I think she was 17.  When she was 18, she and Brian came home one day and told us that Lorena was pregnant!  We were surprised to say the least, and we made arrangements for her to move in to our house.  Brian and Sidra and me all went to Nana's house and told her together that Lorena was pregnant.  She wasn't happy about it.  She asked Lorena what about her education because Lorena had made plans to go to college.  They spoke to each other in Spanish so I don't know what they were taking about.  But then we all left and went home.  The pregnancy went fine and the day finally came that Lorena would go into labor and deliver a beautiful baby boy.

Everyone was thrilled with the new baby.    He was so tiny and sweet and we all were proud of our new grandson.  Lorena and Brian lived with us for a little while, then they moved into her Mom's house.  We'd go visit now and then and for birthdays and whenever we were envited.  Soon, Lorena told us she was pregnant again and this time she had a little girl.  They named her Venus and she wouldn't let anyone hold her but her Mom.  She had to be wrapped tightly after feeding and put in her swing and she'd fall asleep.  Lorena had to have caeserean with Venus and my daughter Sidra and I would go to their house for 6 weeks straight and clean the house and help with the baby and help Lorena.  Then there were problems between our son and Lorena's parents.  Financial problems and other things that made it very uncomfortable for them to stay there, so they moved back to our place. 

Things went fine for a  while.  Our landlord came down to do some work, saw that Brian and Lorena and the babies lived with us, in the extra room and she raised the rent so drastically that we decided we could do better finding a different place to live.  I looked and looked through papers and found that buying a manufactured home would be better afforded and so we looked into it.  We decided we liked it and went one day and made all the arrangements for having our home built the way we wanted it to be built.  We finally made a trip to the park where our house would be located and found the house had finally arrived.  We would look in the windows and see what remained to be done.  The carpet wasn't down yet, and they had to secure the home to the lot and hook up all the utilities.  When they were finished, we all moved in together and enjoyed our new home.  We gave the kids the master bedroom because they needed their own bathroom and room enough for themselves and 2 small children.

We still live here, but Lorena and the kids live at her Mom's house.  There has been a lot of water under the bridge, so they say, and Brian and Lorena are no longer together.  While they were still together, they had 2 more children and now they are older; Brian you are 13, Venus you just turned 12,
Angel you are 10 and Kris is 5.  I have been retired since I was 48, before your Mom and Dad met, and I am now 65.  I am getting old and I am very tired and we see you all for a few days every week.  We don't know the future and what might happen then, but we love all 4 of you and of course we love Alex and his family as well.  After we had moved in here, Alex met Lori when he worked at Target.  They got engaged and married and they now live in Colorado and have 3 children themselves.  Anna who is going to be 10 in April, Alex Jr. who just turned 7 and maddy who will be 5 in September.  We usually see them for a few days every year when they come out to do their taxes.  Alex recently got to come out alone and spend 9 days with us.  It's hard to say goodby and see your son leaving.  We don't know when we'll see him again.

Today we are waiting for Venus and the family to come over and celebrate Venus's 12th birthday.  Our water has been off since yesterday and the dishes can't be washed, we can't cook or clean, and we are thinking of going to buy pizza for dinner.  There are gifts, decorations are up in the living room and all that needs to happen is for all of you  to arrive. 

This blog from this point will be done on a daily basis.  It's difficult for me to remember all the things that have happened in the past, and I think I've fairly well covered my life and the things that have happened since all of you were born.  So I will focus on things that happen on a daily basis and you'll have a record of your own to read about as the time rolls by.  I hope I have covered the most important things that have happened and I will be talking to you now on a regular basis.  I love all of you with all my heart, and I am proud of you and hope to have a long and healthy life and spend a lot of time with you and watching you grow up and live your own lives.  Take care, and I will see you tomorrow!

Love You,
Grandma

Getting The Most Out of Life

Hi Grandkids!  You all seemed to like the post I put up for you just before Christmas, so I thought I'd continue with another post from my own experiences in life, and I hope you don't get too tired of Grandma's little talks.  If I didn't think they were important, I wouldn't do them.  So bear with me on these and I hope they are valuable talks for you.  I can't tell you enough how much I love all of you and how much I want to be a really good influence on your lives.  I'd be a poor excuse for a Grandma, if I didn't give you some guidelines from the lessons I've learned in life.  You all know that I am 65, and you can't imagine how much I've learned in the time I've been here.  I will share my lessons with you in the hopes you won't have to learn them the hard way, like I did.

When I was 17, I wanted to stay in California with a friend and her family, and my parent's were having to move to Minnesota.  I begged and pleaded to no avail.   My Dad was in the Navy and they moved us around all over the country.  Anyway, my Dad insisted that I go with them and so I had to leave my friends, my boyfriend, my school, and all my plans to go to college and become a court stenographer.  I had already enrolled at Southwestern Junior College, and had already passed the exam they gave us in my final year at Castle Park High School.  I loved that school and all of us had such a great time there.  The teachers were like older friends and they would really take an interest in their students.  When we left California, I cried through 3 states.  No one seemed to care, least of all my Dad.  He always said things were "God's will", but to me he said that just to get his way in everything.  He was not a godly man at all in my opinion.  He was mean to my Mom and us and whenever he wasn't home, we all got along just great.  But what I didn't count on was the eye-opening experience I would have there, in my room, alone, in a place I hated.  I despised Minnesota.  I just wanted to go home to sunny San Diego.  I missed the palm trees and the warm sun and the beaches, and my friends, my boyfriend, and all my plans.  I had had enough of moving around and I was just devastated that we had to leave.  I spent a lot of time in my room when we got there.  My parents found a beautiful home that they could afford, and I just didn't realize then that sometimes parents have to do things that make them very unpopular with their children.

I wrote letters to my friends, and once I started getting mail from them I didn't feel so bad.  I would write a lot in my spare time, stories and poems and verses from the Bible.  Then one day, I started feeling compelled to read my Bible.  Everyday I'd lay on my bed in my room and read and read every word I could.  One day, a revelation came to me and it was like a light had exploded in my head.  I suddenly had understanding of the words in the Bible.  They were more real to me than people if that makes any sense.  I was found, and knew that I'd never be alone again.  I knew that God had a reason for me to be where I was, and I stopped hating my Dad for his decision to make me go with them.  I was 17.  What does a 17 year old really know about life?  Not much.  Not the real world.  So much to learn.  That's why I want all 4 of you to do as your Mom tells you.  Don't speak back harshly to your parents.  You wouldn't do that to your Dad, and you should respect your Mother.  She carried you in her body for 9 months and brought you into the world.  Her body created you and you should respect that.  If you didn't have a Mom, you would not be here obviously.  She loves you all and you should help her way more than you do.  I'll enlighten you.  The Bible says that the main commandment for children is:  "Honor your Father and your Mother that your days may be long upon the earth."  That means, if you want a long and happy life, you must obey your parents and be respectful of them.  I changed while I lived in Minnesota.  I learned to see my parents as people who make mistakes, but who do the best that they can to give the best life possible to their children.  Not all parents are like this unfortunately.  My Mom was a quiet person, and she loved kids and animals.  She said she didn't like adults much because they were mean and selfish.  How little did I know.  How much I had to learn! 

While I was separated from my friends, and it was so long between letters from my boyfriend, God began to get my attention.  First it was in drawing me to the Bible so the words written there could begin to work the transformation in me that would change my life and allow me to deal with the awful things that were in my future.  Even though I was angry with my parents, I didn't die like I thought I would, and in the end, I understood much more than I did on the day my Dad said we were moving.  You have to understand something though about me, I had already been to 15 different schools in my 12 years of school, and I didn't want to move again.  I didn't believe it was God's will, like my Dad said it was.  But guess what?!!! It was God's will.  He gave me so much insight, and so much knowledge.  He said He would take me up if my parents deserted me, and He did.  My parent's were too busy fighting to notice any of their children and to notice the effect their fighting had on us.  My grandmother had come to see us after being in Florida with her brother after her son died.  She and my Dad didn't get along, and she said since he didn't want her there, she was going back to California where she could find work and find a place to live.  She was one of my main supporters when I decided after I'd turned 18, to move back to San Diego.  After she left, I wrote her and asked if she could help me get back to San Diego.  She sent me $50.00 and my Mom gave me the rest I'd need for my ticket.  My Mom didn't want me to go, but I told her that I wasn't going to stay and let my Dad treat me the way he treated her.  She begged me to stay.  But I told her I was leaving and that was that.  I paid for an airplane ticket and had enough for my luggage even though I was taking 65lbs over the luggage allowance.  I took all my records, all the pictures I had drawn of the Beatles, my annuals and all my clothes and my Bible.  I had turned to God in prayer one night, and I told Him, if he'd be my Father, I'd do whatever he asked of me.  And I meant it.  So, on the 30th of May, 1965, I said goodbye to my family, walked across the tarmac to the plane, got onboard and began my life's journey.  I was grown up I thought and ready to be on my own.  I'd find a job, and find a place to live and all would be gravy.  I'd surprise my boyfriend because he didn't know I was flying back to San Diego.  I'd show my Dad that I was grown up enough to be on my own.  But I didn't know what the future held for me.  Nobody ever does.  Life is what happens to you while you're making plans!  

God needed my attention so he could help me.  My friends would have been a distraction and I'd never have had peace of mind enough to look for something outside myself.  I'd have never found what I needed to sustain me in difficult times.  I just couldn't see it then.  But I do now.  Watch yourself.  Do you act differently with your friends, than you do when you're alone?  Do you follow the crowd and go nuts over the latest trends in fashion and the latest things that catch on with the crowds of people?  I bet you find yourself doing what ever is necessary to fit in.  You have to have the latest shoes, clothes and see all the latest movies and all the rest of it.  My Dad gave me some advice that stuck with me over the years.  He told me to "Be you own person, and don't follow the crowd.  They don't know where they're going any more than you do."  "Be independant."  But he's gone now, and I can't tell him how much I cried when I realized he was really gone too, and I'd never see him again here on earth.  My poor Dad.  So misunderstood, and so confused himself.  He would never take up for us.  People just walked on us at times and we had no one to take care of us.  But what I'm trying to say is that your parents are human beings.  They make mistakes.  But they do love you and only want the best for you.  

So, when you think they're being unfair, maybe they are doing what they're doing for your benefit.  Try to see it from both sides, yours and theirs.  My parent's made a lot of mistakes.  They fought a lot, and called each other awful names.  When I was young I would try to sleep with a pillow wrapped around my head so I didn't have to hear them fighting.  My grandma lived with us too and she hated my Dad and he hated her.  One time, my grandma caught my Dad getting in my Mom's purse, and instead of minding her own business, she called out to my Mom and told her that he was getting in her purse.  He told her to mind her own business and called her a hag, and she started chasing him through the house with a knife telling him she was going to cut his yellow guts out!  He picked up a wooden magazine rack and threw it at her and it hit the wall and broke into a lot of little pieces.  Magazines went everywhere, and I was always closer to my Dad than my Mom, at least at first.  It upset me to say the least.  My Dad left the house and my Mom didn't say a word to anyone.  My little sister needed new shoes because she had peed on the only ones she had and they were stiff and uncomfortable on her little feet.  I can't imagine what was going on in her little head.  She was just a little girl, without anyone to protect her.  I wasn't old enough to know what to do.  My brother was as mean as a snake and he would just laugh and do something mean when they were fighting.  They wern't paying attention to what we were doing and he would pinch me and pull my hair and call me names.  He was spoiled rotten because he was sick a lot when he was little.  Kris was sick and almost died when he was a baby and maybe that's why he gets preferential treatment.  I don't condone that.  He needs to learn that he can't have just whatever he wants, when he want's it and I don't think that's fair to anyone.  But your Mom and Dad are in charge, and even though you may not agree with them, you still have to do what they tell you to do.  Try not to get too angry because Kris will hopefully grow out of it.  It's good for him to be in school and learn how to use his "manders" as he calls manners.  He will grow and learn in school, and the older he gets the better he will be.  He will learn, even if it has to be the hard way.  So, when you have to let him have your things, even though he doesn't really know how to play it, just try to be patient and find something else to do.  That is what God would have you do.  You all need to help Kris learn how to treat others and if you're good to him and don't fight with him, he may turn around and give the game back to you.  Like the other night when he didn't want to turn off the game and leave with Mommy, he started to throw a fit and your Uncle Alex just tickled him and played with him and made him start laughing.  Then he got up, turned off the machine, and got his shoes on and got ready to leave and he was laughing.  Learn this lesson well, and it will help you deal better with Kris.  You are all a lot older than Kris and it is kind of a little bit your responsibility to deal with him in a mature way and when you can be patient and give him what you want to do without being sarcastic to your Mom, you will show him in the long run, how to behave with your brothers and sisters.  It will make a difference the more you do it.  He will learn how to give up things to others in a more mature way.  When you get mad, remember that God said to obey your Mother and your Father that you may have a long and happy life.  There are other things to do besides play on the game machines.  You have abilities that Kris hasn't developed yet.  When he learns how to read and write and do other things, the game machine won't hold as much interest for him.

But I have strayed away from what I was trying to tell you.  I will give you the same advice my Dad gave me, because in life I found out that he was right.  Don't follow the crowd.  Don't hang out with people who like to get you in trouble.  Don't do it just because "everyone else is doing it", "why can't I?"  Your parents know what's best for you.  Follow what they tell you because they have been here a lot longer than you have, and they are supposed to be your guiding influence until you are old enough to make your own decisions.  I have had a lot of bad experiences in life, and when you get older I will tell you what they were.  I take a lot of medications, a lot for my blood pressure and heart, but I take medication that affects my moods as well.  If I ever come across like I am mad at you, forgive me.  I am not mad at you, I just want to help you grow up to be good people.  I am not your parent, but I am your Grandparent, and I appreciate the respect you show for me and your love and hugs and kisses.  I realize Brian that you are growing up and don't like me to kiss you.  I have stopped doing that and won't make you uncomfortable ever again.  I love you and that's enough said.  I think you are really smart, and I think you are very talented.  You are a good "big" brother and you will make a big impact on your little brothers life.  He want's to do what you do.  It doesn't matter what it is, if he see's you do it, he'll want to too.  So be careful what you do.  Don't sass your Mom.  Don't be disrespectful to others.  Be kind and generous with your friends and pick your friends carefully.  Don't learn every curse word you can, and don't be a trouble maker in school.  There are plenty of those types around and it's sad that their parent's didn't train them better.  But don't follow that type of behavior.  Be your own person.  Make your own rules based upon what your parents and grandparents have taught you.  You probably know from being here so much, we don't have tons of money.  We don't go out to eat very often and we give you toys on your birthday and Christmas.  I'd love to take you all shopping and buy you things, and this coming year, I will save money for such things as that.  But we don't try to get every dollar we can by working 5 of 6 jobs.  We don't live above our means, and we have other interests besides money.  It is good to learn that you have to work for your money.  But don't love money so much you'd give up having a normal life just to have tons of money.  The Bible says, "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil!"  To love money is a worldly thing and you can't love God and put him first and love MONEY, more than you love God or your parents and brothers and sisters.  People matter.  Not how much money they have. 

There use to be a statue you could buy that had 3 little monkeys on it.  The first one was "See no evil", and he had his hands over his eyes.  The next one was "Hear no evil", and he had his hands over his ears, and the last one was "Speak no evil", and he had his hands over his mouth.  If you remember these 3 things, you will be ahead of the game of life.  Don't watch evil things, don't listen to evil, and don't speak evil of others.  Guard your heart and mind for in these two areas, you decide what kind of a life you are going to live.  Protect your heart and your mind, by not allowing evil intents to enter your heart, and no evil thoughts to enter your mind.  What you think, you become.  The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."  What you think, you become.  Try to be a pleasant person, always looking for ways to help others.  Sew the seeds of kindness and generosity, and goodness and fairness and when you grow old, you can look back on a life well lived and have no regrets.  Take advantage of your youth and learn as much as you can about the world you live in and your place in the grand scheme of things.  You have a purpose in life.  It is up to you to find out what that purpose is.  You aren't here to decorate the planet.  You are here to learn, grow wise, live a godly life, be kind to others, and set a good example for those who are younger and more inexperienced than you are.  Don't display ill manners and be a sarcastic person.  Try to be helpful and look for ways to show your kindness to others.  You are what you think.  Guard your mind well.  It is the root of all knowledge and you need to gain wisdom as you go through life.  Please, learn as much as you can and don't be foolish with your time.  Time is fleeting.  It goes by quickly.  I am 65, and yet I can remember being 18 and it doesn't seem so long ago.  But the time went by fast, and I learned a lot, and I am still here to teach you how to be good people and give you advice that will carry you a long way in life.  I am the oldest member of the Tyler family, and am considered the Matriarch of the family.  I deserve respect and you always give me that.  You love me and I love you and hopefully it will always be that way.  I will never stop loving you, and I hope I don't ever make you upset with me, because I would be so very sad if you didn't love me anymore.  You all mean so much to me and I love you and think you are all smart and good people. 

My friends, as I was saying earlier, proved not to have my best interest at heart.  They were worldly and didn't care about me.  Not really.  They had their own agenda, as people do, and I got left out in the cold because I trusted them.  You must be careful who you trust.  Pick your friends well.  Use discretion in all your activities and be good to your siblings.  I know siblings fight, I fought with my brother.  But as the oldest one of the children, I was expected to set the example.  I did my best to do that, but they didn't choose to follow me.  I still made decisions that got me a long way in life.  I had a lot to offer to the right person.  And God sent Jack into my life to love me and protect me from people who would use me.  Jack is 2 years younger than I am, but he has always made me feel about 18.  He has a lot of experience in life and he was in the Viet Nam War when he was only 17.  He did 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam and at one point, he was on the very front end of the boat with 2 machine guns.  One for each hand.  He could have been hit by a bullet so easily, but God protected him because he was meant to be right where he is today.  A part of our family.  He is the Patriarch of the Tyler family, and he also deserves your respect.  Grandpa has a lot of knowledge.  He is sometimes hard to understand, and often he get's mad easy, but he has experienced a lot in life and he and I are best friends as well as husband and wife.  That's how it's always been for us.  We were friends first, and then learned to love each other.  It wasn't hard.  I still love him as much as I did on the day I married him.  He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and he gave me a family to love and raise and take care of.  I hope I did a good job.  I did the best I knew how and my kids all love me, and hopefully all my grandkids will always love me too. 

I only have your best interest in mind when I write these words for you.  They are meant to be a guideline for you in this crazy world with all it's complexity and division.  One of the best things you can be is a peacemaker.  Someone who can bring sense and reason to any given situation.  It is hard being a peacemaker, because you have to see all sides of the picture.  But it is so rewarding because whenever you bring peace to a situation, you grow a little more in stature and in understanding.  God smiles on the peacemakers.  Bring unity and peace to every situation you can, and you will have a rich and rewarding life.  When you are selfish and mean, you only have all your own things to keep you company, because other people will steer clear of you.  Nobody wants to be around somebody that is selfish and mean.  They bring no good to every situation they are in.  Selfish and mean makes you ugly when you get old.  If you've enjoyed your life, you will be a happier person and you'd be surprised to know that it takes more muscles in your face to frown, than it does to smile.  Practice smiling at people.  You may not always get a smile back, but it grows on you.  When you make eye contact with someone, smile at them.  You'd be surprised what a difference a smile can make in some's life who is having a hard time.

I guess what I am trying to say in a nut-shell, is to be on your good behavior and don't fight with your brother's and sister's.  You are a team.  You are all on the same team.  You can have disagreements, without hating one another.  Your sisters need you to be a protector and have their best interest at heart.  Your brothers look at you to see how they should behave.  Just be aware as you go through life, that you aren't here on planet earth alone.  We are all here together and we all need to work together, to make planet earth the best we possibly can for everyone.  Unity.  Peace.  Power in silence.  Read and learn, grasshoppers.  Read and learn.

Love you, and if you want me to go back to telling you about my own life, then I'll do that.  If you like these pointers about life and your role in the grand scheme of things, I will continue in the vein.  I am your friend, your grandmother, and I love you.  I'd be happy to talk with you about anything I tell you here on this blog.  I am trying to leave you a legacy that will enrich your life, and teach you many things from my store of experience. 

Love to all of You,
Grandma