Jack and I enjoyed our honeymoon so much. We didn't travel to some exotic place, nor spend a lot of money. We were lost in each other and we had fun just being together. We visited friends, went for evening walks, he taught me about the stars and we bought each other things. Christmas had just ended and he bought me a beautiful sweater, and I bought him a hat. I still have the sweater, but I think the hat is in storage. None the less, we were in love, and still are. Our love has grown richer over the years as any love that's real does. We thought our life was perfect. But surprises were in store for us. Come with me on this journey and see the surprises life held in store for us, and for many who would come after us.
We went back to work after our 2 week honeymoon, and pretty much everything was the same. The bosses left me alone for the most part because my husband was sitting a couple of desks away. The government didn't like husbands and wives to be in the same office, at least where we were concerned. But since we married long after I started working in that office, the paper work was done long before Jack came along. They didn't try to get one of us to leave, so we were happy about that. We had decided to try to have a baby right away because I would be 30 the next year, and didn't want to take any chances on birth defects, or miscarriages. By March, I knew I was pregnant, and the visit
to the doctor confirmed that. I approached my boss to schedule maternity leave when I would need it. He looked at me and frowned, and asked me if I knew what I was talking about! I told him I had been a woman all my life and knew quite well what I was talking about! Stupid question deserved a curt answer. He scheduled the leave, much to his disgust and as I grew bigger and bigger, he must have felt so dumb.
My friend Linda was pregnant at the same time. She turned to me one day and told me that someday something wonderful was going to happen for me because I was so good to everybody. I told her it already had, and she just looked amazed and said "Yeah, huh". I always teased her and told her I was having twins and she would just laugh and shake her head. I told her it was 2 boys, but really had no way of knowing. Not yet.
As time went by, I developed quite a round girth and my brother would tease me about having twins as well. In July, I was 5 months pregnant. I had been on pre-natal vitamins and water pills, and one night I started having severe back pains. Later that night, Jack had to take me to the emergency room at Doctor's Hospital in Point Loma and after checking me out they determined I had a severe kidney and bladder infection. While I was in the emergency room, Jack was just outside. He had told me about his faith, The Tao, and had told me about being a lens through which to focus the power of the Tao to where it was needed. That night, I discovered what that was like. As I laid there on the table, he focused his love and this amazing power to me and the pains ceased. I told him about it on the way home. He was almost in tears, and said he thought I was going to lose the baby. We went home and I was able to sleep through the night. The next morning, he went out to the pharmacy and had my prescription filled. He brought me back a surprise, like so many times and I stayed home for a couple of days to recouperate.
We made our regular visits to the doctor, and as my time grew near to deliver, I had to go every week. Things were fine for a while; I didn't gain too much weight and my blood pressure was fine. Then, in November when I went in, they weighed me and I had gained 10 lbs in one week! They decided to do an X-Ray, sonograms wern't done in those days, and I waited for the results. When they developed the films, the doctor sort of chuckled and told us there were 2 babies. Jack always said the first thing that popped into his head was "Bankruptcy!". I had wanted to have the baby normally, but the doctor said that both babies were in the breech position. They would do a cesarian to deliver the babies because he said having a breech multiple birth would be too hard on me for my first pregnancy. We left and started talking in the car about a name for the other baby. We had decided on Brian if it was a boy, and Sidra if it was a girl. We decided on Alexis if it was a boy, for the second baby, and went to tell his Grandma and Mom the news. They wern't home, so we went to our house. Jack made dinner, and I walked up to the little market we shopped at and used the phone to call my Mom. She wasn't home, but my brother was. He didn't really seem too surprised when I told him there were 2 babies. He said he'd tell everyone when they came home. I walked back to the house, but I only ate a little. I was too excited to eat. We went to bed and Jack fell asleep right away. I laid there contemplating 2 babies and thinking about all we needed to buy. We hadn't even bought a bed yet, or very many baby clothes. My Mom had bought me a bassinet, but no one threw a baby shower for me and the money had been tight for us. I finally fell asleep at 4:00a.m. At 5:00 a.m, I felt a sharp jolt, like an earthquake! I woke Jack up and told him to turn on the light, I thought I was bleeding. My water had broke, and Jack was happy that the ordeal would soon be over. I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes.
My nightcase was ready with a new gown and robe and slippers, and my makeup. I had been prepared and it was a good thing. The babies hadn't been scheduled to be born in November, but December. So, we grabbed the case, got in the car and stopped at the market to use the phone and call the doctor to tell him the news. Then we went on our way. I had my first pain as we turned onto the freeway.
When we got to the hospital, they put me in a hospital gown and took me for more x-rays. My doctor brought in a specialist who checked me to see if I could have the babies normally instead of cesarian. He said I could, and the next 8 hours were agony. Back in those days, they didn't give you anything for pain. You got your spinal just before giving birth. Jack was with me for most of the time. The gave me a glass of ice chips, but that was all. Jack told me all the other mothers were taking their blankets and going home because they couldn't sleep with me screaming! I tried to smile, but it was no use. The pains got worse and worse. Eight hours later, they came in to check the babies again and one of the babies heart was slowing down. They got my doctor right away and they took me in to deliver the babies. Jack had planned to go in, but they told him he couldn't because he would be in the way if something went wrong.
Not long after the spinal the first baby was delivered with forceps. He was born bottom first and one of the nurses took him and left. The second baby was born feet first and they said he also was a boy. They held him up for me to see and I held my hand up and told the baby not to cry. He grabbed onto my finger and stopped crying. I was so happy to have given Jack not one son, but 2! They took him away to clean him up and do whatever needed to be done. Then they concentrated on me. They had to give me something in the IV because I was going into shock. It made me feel sick, but then I started feeling better. They worked on me for about 45 minutes, then they brought in another gurney for me to be moved back to my room on. They had to turn me over on my stomach and it was hard to keep my head up. Then they took me to my room and I saw my family sitting over against the wall in the waiting room. The nurses took me to my room, and after I was in bed, they left and my folks came in. The nurses were back in a flash with a huge bown of vanilla ice cream with chunks of pineapple and whipped cream on top. My sister tried to feed it to me, but she got dizzy and they had to help her back out to the waiting room. She didn't do well around hospitals. They told me I had to lay flat for 12 hours and not lift my head because it would give me a severe headache. I didn't see my babies until the next day. My husband came in after they left, and stayed with me a while. My Mother-in-Law came later and helped me to drink some water. It was diffcult laying down, but the water was so welcome. I don't remember much more about that day. I slept for the rest of the evening and night.
The next morning, I sat up very gingerly and made my way out of bed and down the hall to take a shower and a sitz bath. My legs were trembling and I had to hold onto the wall, but I made it. They helped me to take a sitz bath first, then I took a shower and washed my hair. I felt so much better. Then after I put on my new gown and robe and slippers, I went back to my room and they brought Brian to me, he was the first baby. I uncovered him and looked at his little feet, then his eyes and those long eye lashes. His eyes were green like my Dad's eyes. He was beautiful and perfect. Then they brought him a bottle and I fed him. When they came to take him back to the nursery, I quickly covered him up like they would scold me for unwrapping him. Motherhood was brand new and I wanted to see both of them. They told me I needed to rest, so when Jack came to see me, we walked down to the nursery and looked at our brand new babies. I made him nervous being out of bed, so we walked slowly back and I sat on the side of the bed.
Jack brought me a beautiful charm bracelet with the horriscope charm for our new boys, and one for each of us. He and my brother had gone to Wards with our credit card and bought a new bed for the babies, and clothes and diapers and things we would need. We had made plans to have a diaper service, and they came before I was released from the hospital. The day came to go home and the bosses wouldn't let Jack come and pick me up. So I called my brother and he and my Mom and Sister came to get me in his new car. They brought a robe for me and 2 blue pajama suits for the boys. The nurses helped me get the babies ready to go home, and after I was in the wheel chair, they put a baby in each arm and pushed me out to the waiting car. My brother took all the back roads home to avoid the traffic. When we got there, my brother took one baby, and my sister took one. Mom helped me into the house. When I saw the beautiful bed and the crib carousel I started crying. Mom hugged me because she knew how long I had wanted a family of my own. I stopped crying and went to the bathroom. When I came out, my brother and sister were holding the babies and both of them were crying. They had never held new-borns before. My Dad came home later that evening from work, and after he showered, he fed one of the babies.
The rest of the evening was spent resting and feeding and holding the boys. When Jack got home, a friend of ours from work had followed him and he came in to see the babies too. He held Brian for a bit, and he got all misty as well. He had 2 sons, but was separated from his wife and family. After a bit, he kissed me on the cheek and said "good work Mom" and left. Jack held Alex for a while and just seemed to be lost in good feelings. He had brought a game from the house for us to play, but I was too tired and just felt like watching TV and taking care of the twins.
The next day, a friend of mine from school came over with her sister to see the babies. She told me I should be in bed resting, but I felt fine after a good night's sleep and had been to the store and had made a cake. I felt fine, but didn't know just how tired my body really was. My Mom said I was showing off for Jack, but she was teasing me. One night after work, he came home with a present for me. A set of silverware in a beautiful case! I was delghted! After 4 days, Jack was ready to go home, so we disassembled the bed, packed up our things, and as everyone but my Dad had left the house so they didn't have to say goodbye to the babies, we left. Dad didn't even say goodbye. I felt like they were getting too possessive over the babies and was glad to be leaving. Originally I was going to stay the whole week to rest up and have their help. But after the first night, whenever the babies would cry at night, they would yell from their bedroom and tell me "my" babies were crying, and I'd have to get up no matter how tired I was, and take care of the babies. I loved my babies beyond measure, so I would get up and do what needed to be done. Jack got up with me, and we had some hot tea and folded baby diapers for the day and fed the babies and everything. I was ready to go home as well.
So, we were on our way home where we could just relax and be with our babies. Jack set up the crib, and we carried the babies in and I took a picture of Jack laying beside of Brian, our firstborn, and was holding his tiny hand. We had lunch and we let his Mom and Grandma know we were home so they could come and see the babies. His Grandma hadn't even seen them yet. I think they came over, but it's been a long 35 years and some of the details are just gone. We just settled in and relaxed with our little family, and all was well with the world. Jack was off for the weekend, so he had a chance to spend time with his new sons. We visited our neighbors Ella and Ted, an ederly couple, and she had made a sweater for our baby. When Jack had been at the house, he told them there were 2 babies, so she hurridly made a second sweater! They were white with yellow trim and they were beautiful. They seemed to enjoy the evening with 2 newborns to fuss over, and then we went home and turned in for the night.
All was going well. I had quit working thinking I had a while before the baby would come, but one week after I quit, the babies were there. So the leave extended for 3 months with the babies rather than 6 weeks. had my hands full, but we did just fine. I'd get Jack off to work, clean up the babies and feed them, and lay down while they were sleeping to rest. One day, I was taking a shower after I had gotten them to sleep, and I left the door slightly open so I could hear them if they needed me.
I finished showering, dressed, did my make-up and was preparing myself a cup of tea, when there was a knock at the front door. I opened
the door and there were 2 police officers standing there. They had a police ambulance waiting in the street. They asked me if I had new twin boys, and I told them yes. I asked why, and they said they had gotten a call that there were newborn twins being left alone for hours at a time and they wanted to see the babies. I told them they could, but not to wake them up because I had just gotten them asleep. They went in the room and the babies were sound asleep and covered up with soft receiving blankets. The house was drafty and I had them dressed warmly, fed them, and tucked them in for some sleep. All their things were neatly folded up and the room was dark and comfortable. The police came out smiling, and just told me to take care. After they left, ran next door to get our neighbor Barbara, and she came over to the house. She had 2 sons as well named Brian and Schuan who often came to visit us. I didn't know it, but the next day a social worker would be at my house to see if I was keeping the house clean for the newborns, and to check on their well-being. I told Barbara what had happened, and Ted and Ella came over as well because they had seen the police ambulance.
I was a wreck. Jack came home soon, and we told him what had happened. I couldn't imagine who would call the police on me and accuse me of abusing my brand new babies. At first I thought it was John or Pat, the neighbors who lived behind us. But I wasn't sure. The next day when the social worker came and started talking about Schizophrenia, I knew it was my parents or my brother. I was furious!
I got all upset, and the social worker said my kitchen was a mess and if the nurse got a look at it they would take my babies to Hillcrest Receiving Home! I couldn't believe it. I asked him to give me a week to get things in order and then come back and he agreed.
My neighbors came and my friend Linda came too, to help me get things in order. We cleaned the whole house, and took care of the babies at the same time. I had called Linda and told her my parent's were trying to take my babies away from me, and she came right away. I was so hurt and so mad and confused. I just couldn't believe what they had done. I didn't think to call Jack's Grandma. His Mom Kay was at work, but his
Grandma was at home. Neverthless, with my friends and neighbors help we got things cleaned up, and the next week the social worker came again. This time he could say nothing. I had worked hard while I was pregnant, had a horrible time giving birth, and here were my parents and siblings trying to steal my newborns away from me. I had gotten past the first hurdle they had put in my new life as a Mom, but there would be many more. For now, I will close, and next time we meet here, I will tell you more about our boys and the life we had together in spite of all the conflict and lies. We were strong, but had no idea how strong we would have to be in the future. Hope you are enjoying reading about our lives together and the trials and tribulations we would face. But "together" is the key in this family. We are together still and stronger than ever before. See you next time,
Love, Grandma
Friday, October 14, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Wedding and The New House
Before we were married, we had a little apartment on top of a garage in the rear lot of some houses that sat on the main street. After we were engaged, one day we went down to Mission Valley to pick out our wedding rings and get them sized. Jack and I both picked out gold wedding bands with 3 diamonds, and a silver strip above and below the 3 diamonds. We had them sent off to be sized for us, and would pick them up later when they would be returned to the store. Jack also decided we'd need a house for the family we planned to have. So he found out that the people that lived in one of the houses out front were moving and he asked for the name of their landlord and we went to pay him a visit. He rented the house to us, and when the other people moved out, we went to check out the inside. The living room was really long and rather narrow. There were 2 bedrooms with a bathroom between them which you could enter from either side. The bathroom only had a shower, but at the time the price was right and we decided we liked it. The kitchen was small and had a small dining room just off the kitchen that had been added on at a later time. We had a small yard out front and a smaller yard in the back where I could hang clothes to dry.
One evening after we had the keys, we went down to Ceasars in Mission Valley and bought our dinner,. We took it back to the house and celebrated our new surroundings. We hadn't moved furniture in yet and we sat on the floor and ate spaghetti, raveoli, garlic bread and salad. No matter what we did together, we had a great time. The little house also had french doors in the living room on either side of the main door, The windows were rather high, but after we hung the drapes it was just fine. Of course I was in seventh heaven and any house would have been fine with me. As long as I was with Jack, I didn't care about anything else. So, the next day, we began moving our things from the little apartment, down to the house. Jack's Mom, Kay, came over and helped us move. We didn't have a lot of furniture, so the move didn't take very long. Some neighbors that lived by my Mom's house gave us 2 small orange leather couches on black frames so we at least had a couch. We had a lamp that hung from the ceiling which I called our Camelot lamp. We got our drapes from my Grandma Elsie who didn't need them any more and we had some dishes between us that seved their purpose. We had a bed for our room, but nothing for the other bedroom. We used the extra room for boxes full of things from the apartment. Once we were settled in, we began to plan our wedding.
After our rings came in, I couldn't leave the box they came in alone. Every day I would go to the chest and open the box and look at the rings. One afternoon we went shopping to buy a dress for me for the wedding. I had few friends, and my family didn't really lend any support, so Jack paid for my dress. We hit it on the first try. The floor length dress was a soft sky blue with a dark blue velvet jacket that tied in the front and had a rose attached. I tried it on and came out of the dressing room to show Jack. He loved it and so did I! We went home and just enjoyed the rest of the day. We went to see his
Mom and Grandmother. I remember visiting them and Kay brought out some of her earrings that she thought would be nice with the dress. She was excited and anxious to please. I picked out a pair that matched the dress the most and they had little pink roses on a turquoise stone. They were on little gold wires and I loved them. After we visited for a while, we went driving and wound our way home.
Jack and I went to one of the Hobby shops in the area and he picked out decorations for our wedding cake. He made the topper himself, with angels, and pillars and swans. It was absolutely beautiful. My Mom wanted us to get married at her house, and even though Jack wasn't thrilled with that, we decided we would. Mom said she wanted to buy the cake and make the food. The strangest thing happened with the cake. She hadn't seen the topper, but when we saw the cake, it was decorated exactly the same as the wedding topper!
I made an appointment with a pastor at the Methodist Church, where I was Baptized, to make arrangement for him to perform our wedding ceremony. His name was Reverend Ulrickson, a very nice person, and he talked a little with us and said he would be glad to do the ceremony. He went over what we would do as he performed the wedding, and at one point we were supposed to kneel to receive the blessing. We forgot to do that, but he blessed us standing and that's what we would do in our lives together. Stand together and face the world. We had no idea of the trials and tribulations we would face, but we had a strong connection to each other, and we were determined to stand together through it all.
No one gave us a wedding shower, so we had very little in the way of material things we would need to start our lives together. We pretty much were on our own and we were ok with that. Neither one of us had been supported much in our decision to marry and I had no really close friends that would have given us a shower. I really didn't even think about it. It really meant more for us to purchase our own things, and our budget was pretty tight. The Nova took a lot of gas, and we still had bills to pay, so we were resigned to having things tight for a while. As the time ticked away, the wedding day was getting closer to being real. The people at work had tried to dissuade Jack from being involved with me. One of the supervisrs took Jack into the coffee room one day and told him he shouldn't get involved with me. He told him I had a lot of problems, and Jack just told him, "yeah I know. She told me." And I had. I told Jack early on that I was Schizophrenic, but he didn't believe me. He loved me and could see no fault in me. Much to their distaste, we were very happy and had great fun together. Jack wrote a poem for me about a pink rose in a field of sourgrass, and that was about the size of it. There had been one woman working with me before Jack came to work there and she always told me no one would want to marry me because I was too fat. I had bought a tee shirt that had a little hippie on the back that was in a mini-skirt and rather chubby, and beneath the hippie was a caption that said, "Thin might be in, but fat's where its at!" and as she sat right behind me, I wore it as often as possible! We ignored all of them and had a ball together. Linda was happy for me, but the rest of them just turned up their noses at us and shook their heads in disgust. We found that most insecure people were like that around us. What we had was real and it has just gotten stronger with every passing year. We are still happy together and have seen 35 married years together, with 3 children, and now 7 grand-children. I guess true love can outlast anything. Ours sure has.
Finally, the day arrived to get ready for our wedding and make the trip to my Mom's house. The only ones that would be there were family members, and we had asked Jack's sister Helen Marie to be my bridesmaid, and my brother David to be Jacks best man. They both had agreed. I woke up first and went to do my makeup and hair, while Jack made us some coffee, and began getting ready himself. I put my hair up in curls on top of my head and put a strip of baby's breath in front of the curls. I did my makeup, and before we left the house the mail came and in it was one of my Cosmetique selections. In it was a new perfume called Laughter and that's what I wore for fragrance. I already had white lace heels, and I put on the dress and tied the jacket just below the rose. We had gone to the store the night before and I had bought baby roses in pink and white and ribbon to tie them together with. I made a boquet for Helen and myself. When we were ready, we took a drive to Jack's Mom's house and they were going to take me to my Mom's place. Jack took the fiat ahead of me to set up the music and give the rings to David to hold. Jack's Mom, Grandmother and his sisten Helen Marie all went with me and we stopped for gas along the way. Kay stuck her head out the window and told the attendant that I was marrying her son that day. The attendant, a woman, made up a large boquet of 2 different colors of blue carnations, wrapped them in blue paper and gave them to me! I was so surprised. The colors exactly matched my dress and jacket. Then we were on our way.
When we got there, I got out first and the sun was bright, the day was very still and warm and it felt like I was walking in a dream. I went to the door and rang the bell. My Mom answered the door, and the look of surprise on her face was worth gold. She said to me, "I haven't seen you look so pretty since you were in high school! Who bought you that beautiful dress?" I told her Jack did, and shortly thereafter everyone was assembled for the wedding. The Reverend arrived and teased me and Jack and asked us several times if we were sure we wanted to do it. We just laughed and assured him we did and the music began as we took our places in front of the Christmas tree. We had decided on Journey to the Center of the Earth sound track for our wedding music. It was very dramatic and you could sense a greater presence there that day. It was the most beautiful day of my life, but there would be many more surprises for me and Jack. Life was coming to us in waves of joy and happiness and I don't believe there was anyone or anything that could tear us apart. Many have tried, but we are still one.
After we said our vows and became man and wife, Jack paid the Reverend and then we cut the cake.
Reverend Ulrickson got a plate of food and cake and sat down by my grandmother to eat. They were having a great time, and my Dad opened a bottle of champagne and we all had a glass. He made a toast to us and Jack's sister who was not very sophisticated started snickering and champagne came out her nose I think. We were to learn later that my Dad's toast was for show. Before we went back to work I made a trip to take my Grandmothers slip back to her and she told me that as soon as we had left my Dad made the comment that he would "give it a year." I could have gone forever without hearing that. Just one of the many people who would try to destroy what we had. I was hurt and angry when I got back to the house and Jack knew right away that something had happened. I told him about it and he just hugged me. He had told me that from the first time he met my family, he didn't think I was really their child. He thought I had been adopted. This was a first in the things they would do to us. I sometimes think that it was a bad dream. This was my life they were playing games with.
After the toast had been made, we asked Kay to bring the cake to our place for a small reception later that day, and we left to go to the Naval base to get our checks. We went in the office and Herb hugged me and shook Jack's hand. I didn't see Joyce, the woman who said I'd never get married because I was too fat, anywhere. Later on my friend Linda told me that Joyce had told her she had never seen anyone
atually glow before. Linda almost cried when I went over to hug her. After we got our checks, we went Christmas shopping for our families, and then we went home, got out of our wedding clothes, had something to eat and got ready for the reception. A few of our friends came, including my brother, but no family came except Kay and Helen. They brought the cake and I was devastated. Kay told me that David got a fork and ate almost the whole cake. He had no manners whatsoever and I had only the wedding cake top that was for Jack and I and only a few slices. We had ice cream and drinks and chips and sandwiches, but the cake was destroyed. No one from my family even tried to make it a great celebration.
Later in the evening after everyone had left, Jack and I took sandwiches and a thermos of hot tea and took a drive through "Camelot", (what I called San Diego). Everything was decorated for Christmas and the whole town seemed to be celebrating with us. Thus we began our life together as man and wife and the world would unfold for us in spite of the people and events that we would deal with in our lives. We had 2 weeks off for our honeymoon and we went many places, enjoyed our friends, and just loved being together. We bought things to do, models, crafts, canvases and paint and we just celebrated every moment. Life is a beautiful force if you see it with the eyes of understanding. There was much for me to learn about this wonderful person I married. And a lifetime to learn it in. We have shared joy, happiness, and sorrow as well. We are bonded together as one, as it should be. The first year would bring a great change to our lives as man and wife. But I will go into that the next time we meet. Hope you are enjoying the stories I have put here for you. I have had a wonderful life, and I want to share the best and the saddest moments with you, my grandchildren, and my 3 children as well. There is much to know about us, but the most important thing to know is that love is the strongest force in the universe. And your Grandad and Grandma, will always be as one.
See you next time,
Love and Kisses,
Grandma
One evening after we had the keys, we went down to Ceasars in Mission Valley and bought our dinner,. We took it back to the house and celebrated our new surroundings. We hadn't moved furniture in yet and we sat on the floor and ate spaghetti, raveoli, garlic bread and salad. No matter what we did together, we had a great time. The little house also had french doors in the living room on either side of the main door, The windows were rather high, but after we hung the drapes it was just fine. Of course I was in seventh heaven and any house would have been fine with me. As long as I was with Jack, I didn't care about anything else. So, the next day, we began moving our things from the little apartment, down to the house. Jack's Mom, Kay, came over and helped us move. We didn't have a lot of furniture, so the move didn't take very long. Some neighbors that lived by my Mom's house gave us 2 small orange leather couches on black frames so we at least had a couch. We had a lamp that hung from the ceiling which I called our Camelot lamp. We got our drapes from my Grandma Elsie who didn't need them any more and we had some dishes between us that seved their purpose. We had a bed for our room, but nothing for the other bedroom. We used the extra room for boxes full of things from the apartment. Once we were settled in, we began to plan our wedding.
After our rings came in, I couldn't leave the box they came in alone. Every day I would go to the chest and open the box and look at the rings. One afternoon we went shopping to buy a dress for me for the wedding. I had few friends, and my family didn't really lend any support, so Jack paid for my dress. We hit it on the first try. The floor length dress was a soft sky blue with a dark blue velvet jacket that tied in the front and had a rose attached. I tried it on and came out of the dressing room to show Jack. He loved it and so did I! We went home and just enjoyed the rest of the day. We went to see his
Mom and Grandmother. I remember visiting them and Kay brought out some of her earrings that she thought would be nice with the dress. She was excited and anxious to please. I picked out a pair that matched the dress the most and they had little pink roses on a turquoise stone. They were on little gold wires and I loved them. After we visited for a while, we went driving and wound our way home.
Jack and I went to one of the Hobby shops in the area and he picked out decorations for our wedding cake. He made the topper himself, with angels, and pillars and swans. It was absolutely beautiful. My Mom wanted us to get married at her house, and even though Jack wasn't thrilled with that, we decided we would. Mom said she wanted to buy the cake and make the food. The strangest thing happened with the cake. She hadn't seen the topper, but when we saw the cake, it was decorated exactly the same as the wedding topper!
I made an appointment with a pastor at the Methodist Church, where I was Baptized, to make arrangement for him to perform our wedding ceremony. His name was Reverend Ulrickson, a very nice person, and he talked a little with us and said he would be glad to do the ceremony. He went over what we would do as he performed the wedding, and at one point we were supposed to kneel to receive the blessing. We forgot to do that, but he blessed us standing and that's what we would do in our lives together. Stand together and face the world. We had no idea of the trials and tribulations we would face, but we had a strong connection to each other, and we were determined to stand together through it all.
No one gave us a wedding shower, so we had very little in the way of material things we would need to start our lives together. We pretty much were on our own and we were ok with that. Neither one of us had been supported much in our decision to marry and I had no really close friends that would have given us a shower. I really didn't even think about it. It really meant more for us to purchase our own things, and our budget was pretty tight. The Nova took a lot of gas, and we still had bills to pay, so we were resigned to having things tight for a while. As the time ticked away, the wedding day was getting closer to being real. The people at work had tried to dissuade Jack from being involved with me. One of the supervisrs took Jack into the coffee room one day and told him he shouldn't get involved with me. He told him I had a lot of problems, and Jack just told him, "yeah I know. She told me." And I had. I told Jack early on that I was Schizophrenic, but he didn't believe me. He loved me and could see no fault in me. Much to their distaste, we were very happy and had great fun together. Jack wrote a poem for me about a pink rose in a field of sourgrass, and that was about the size of it. There had been one woman working with me before Jack came to work there and she always told me no one would want to marry me because I was too fat. I had bought a tee shirt that had a little hippie on the back that was in a mini-skirt and rather chubby, and beneath the hippie was a caption that said, "Thin might be in, but fat's where its at!" and as she sat right behind me, I wore it as often as possible! We ignored all of them and had a ball together. Linda was happy for me, but the rest of them just turned up their noses at us and shook their heads in disgust. We found that most insecure people were like that around us. What we had was real and it has just gotten stronger with every passing year. We are still happy together and have seen 35 married years together, with 3 children, and now 7 grand-children. I guess true love can outlast anything. Ours sure has.
Finally, the day arrived to get ready for our wedding and make the trip to my Mom's house. The only ones that would be there were family members, and we had asked Jack's sister Helen Marie to be my bridesmaid, and my brother David to be Jacks best man. They both had agreed. I woke up first and went to do my makeup and hair, while Jack made us some coffee, and began getting ready himself. I put my hair up in curls on top of my head and put a strip of baby's breath in front of the curls. I did my makeup, and before we left the house the mail came and in it was one of my Cosmetique selections. In it was a new perfume called Laughter and that's what I wore for fragrance. I already had white lace heels, and I put on the dress and tied the jacket just below the rose. We had gone to the store the night before and I had bought baby roses in pink and white and ribbon to tie them together with. I made a boquet for Helen and myself. When we were ready, we took a drive to Jack's Mom's house and they were going to take me to my Mom's place. Jack took the fiat ahead of me to set up the music and give the rings to David to hold. Jack's Mom, Grandmother and his sisten Helen Marie all went with me and we stopped for gas along the way. Kay stuck her head out the window and told the attendant that I was marrying her son that day. The attendant, a woman, made up a large boquet of 2 different colors of blue carnations, wrapped them in blue paper and gave them to me! I was so surprised. The colors exactly matched my dress and jacket. Then we were on our way.
When we got there, I got out first and the sun was bright, the day was very still and warm and it felt like I was walking in a dream. I went to the door and rang the bell. My Mom answered the door, and the look of surprise on her face was worth gold. She said to me, "I haven't seen you look so pretty since you were in high school! Who bought you that beautiful dress?" I told her Jack did, and shortly thereafter everyone was assembled for the wedding. The Reverend arrived and teased me and Jack and asked us several times if we were sure we wanted to do it. We just laughed and assured him we did and the music began as we took our places in front of the Christmas tree. We had decided on Journey to the Center of the Earth sound track for our wedding music. It was very dramatic and you could sense a greater presence there that day. It was the most beautiful day of my life, but there would be many more surprises for me and Jack. Life was coming to us in waves of joy and happiness and I don't believe there was anyone or anything that could tear us apart. Many have tried, but we are still one.
After we said our vows and became man and wife, Jack paid the Reverend and then we cut the cake.
Reverend Ulrickson got a plate of food and cake and sat down by my grandmother to eat. They were having a great time, and my Dad opened a bottle of champagne and we all had a glass. He made a toast to us and Jack's sister who was not very sophisticated started snickering and champagne came out her nose I think. We were to learn later that my Dad's toast was for show. Before we went back to work I made a trip to take my Grandmothers slip back to her and she told me that as soon as we had left my Dad made the comment that he would "give it a year." I could have gone forever without hearing that. Just one of the many people who would try to destroy what we had. I was hurt and angry when I got back to the house and Jack knew right away that something had happened. I told him about it and he just hugged me. He had told me that from the first time he met my family, he didn't think I was really their child. He thought I had been adopted. This was a first in the things they would do to us. I sometimes think that it was a bad dream. This was my life they were playing games with.
After the toast had been made, we asked Kay to bring the cake to our place for a small reception later that day, and we left to go to the Naval base to get our checks. We went in the office and Herb hugged me and shook Jack's hand. I didn't see Joyce, the woman who said I'd never get married because I was too fat, anywhere. Later on my friend Linda told me that Joyce had told her she had never seen anyone
atually glow before. Linda almost cried when I went over to hug her. After we got our checks, we went Christmas shopping for our families, and then we went home, got out of our wedding clothes, had something to eat and got ready for the reception. A few of our friends came, including my brother, but no family came except Kay and Helen. They brought the cake and I was devastated. Kay told me that David got a fork and ate almost the whole cake. He had no manners whatsoever and I had only the wedding cake top that was for Jack and I and only a few slices. We had ice cream and drinks and chips and sandwiches, but the cake was destroyed. No one from my family even tried to make it a great celebration.
Later in the evening after everyone had left, Jack and I took sandwiches and a thermos of hot tea and took a drive through "Camelot", (what I called San Diego). Everything was decorated for Christmas and the whole town seemed to be celebrating with us. Thus we began our life together as man and wife and the world would unfold for us in spite of the people and events that we would deal with in our lives. We had 2 weeks off for our honeymoon and we went many places, enjoyed our friends, and just loved being together. We bought things to do, models, crafts, canvases and paint and we just celebrated every moment. Life is a beautiful force if you see it with the eyes of understanding. There was much for me to learn about this wonderful person I married. And a lifetime to learn it in. We have shared joy, happiness, and sorrow as well. We are bonded together as one, as it should be. The first year would bring a great change to our lives as man and wife. But I will go into that the next time we meet. Hope you are enjoying the stories I have put here for you. I have had a wonderful life, and I want to share the best and the saddest moments with you, my grandchildren, and my 3 children as well. There is much to know about us, but the most important thing to know is that love is the strongest force in the universe. And your Grandad and Grandma, will always be as one.
See you next time,
Love and Kisses,
Grandma
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