A Nice Surprise!

Yesterday I was doing the things I normally do around the house, and Jack surprised me by saying we were going out for lunch!  We went to Rubio's for some good eats and it was really nice.  He had fish tacos, beans and rice, and a Snapple Green Tea.  I had a Balsamic-Roasted Vegetables and Chicken salad and an iced tea!  We sat at a high little table by the window and the food was excellent!  While we chatted, he mentioned that he's going to try to be more spontaneous for me, and I couldn't be happier!  It was really sweet, and I am so proud of him.  It takes a lot to change your way of doing things, but I think spontaniety is a wonderful trait and it add's so much to one's life and liveliness.  I have always thought that variety is the spice of life and tried to do as many different things as possible.  I am the same way with cooking, I like variety. 

Now that we are older, we have to watch out diets, and seeing that I have heart disease, and he has pre-diabetic symptoms, like high blood sugar, we will be attending a class to learn about the changes we will have to make for him.  We dealt with my heart attack and heart disease by changing our way of eating.  We both worked and we'd come home at night and he'd stand in the kitchen making spaghetti sauce from scratch for me, and insisting on me eating only the healthiest of foods and we made sure we had the proper foods for me in the house.  We all changed our ways of eating.  We will do the same for him now.  We recently started the DASH diet, and today I got on the internet and looked at diabetic foods.  They are very similar and that is not a surprise as the DASH diet is probably one of the best I've ever been on.  It has been a big hit and has so much to offer in the way of healthy eating and getting all the vitamins you need from your food choices.  It's nice to know that we won't have to make too many changes to what we're doing. 

Later in the day the grandkids were here.  They are always here on Monday's and Tuesday's after school.  They brought food for themselves, and that was nice.  I usually give them something when they get here to hold them until it's time to have dinner.  Kris was doing well, and playing with the I-Pad and the Video games we have.  Angel did her homework and Venus kept busy with the I-Pad once Kris lost interest in it.  Their Mom got here around 6:30 or 7:00.  Sid took the girls and went to Michael's for some hobby things.  I made dinner and Jack and Kris and I ate, and the girls ate when they got back from Michaels. 

No matter what comes, we will face it together like we always do.  We are a strong family and we help each other with life-changes and problems that crop up in everyday life.  We stick together...we help each other...and we are going to face this together too.  We have overcome so much in life, and we just keep ticking! 

The Long Road Home

Hi Grandkids!  It's been quite a while since I posted here, so I thought I'd get back to what I was trying to do, and that is to tell you about my life.  I am not going to give you any more speeches, you don't seem to be too interested.  I don't know if you're interested in my life story either, but maybe someday you will be.  So, after we moved to the house on Arapaho, we got back into the daily grind of the kids going to a sitter where they were just across the street from their school.  I was still working but had gone back to working for the Navy instead of the Internal Revenue Service.  I had found that my boss wasn't interested in my future and I just felt that going back to where I had the most experience would be a good move.  I was wrong, but you never know if you don't try. I eventually wound my way back to the same group of people I had worked with before, but I wasn't the only one.  One gal had been a co-worker since 1968 when I first started working for the government.  Her name was Pat and she was a very nice person.  I took a downgrade when I went to the IRS, so when I went back to the office I had worked in before, Pat was my boss.  I was working there when my Mom passed away.  My best friends Dad had passed away in June, Jack's Grandma passed away in August, and then my Mom passed away in September of the same year.  It was really hard having to deal with so much death all at once.  Then in April of the next year, my Mom's Mom passed away too.  I had been sick already and having to deal with all the changes was very difficult.  It was a good thing I was working with old friends, although my big boss, not Pat, but our boss Jim Meyers wasn't a very understanding person and was very upset that I was off for a week mourning the loss of my Mother.

I went back to work and eventually I got tired of being there and put my application in for a job elsewhere.  I was accepted, and made all the arrangements and did all the paperwork and changed jobs once again.  All the while the children were growing and when the boys were 12, we took them and their sister out of childcare and let them stay home in the evenings until we got home.  That was about 2 hours.  They had keys to get in the house of course, and I think Sidra usually got home first.  They did fairly well but sometimes they'd call and tell their Dad or me that they were sick and didn't go to school that day.  Once they told me Sidra threw up on the table and they were going to stay home and take care of her......uh huh!  I didn't find out till much later that that was a very "tall tale".  The boys were in the Mighty Mights Wrestling and Sidra was in ballet and jazz dancing.  We all went to the wrestling matches on the weekends, and afterwards we'd take them to the hamburger stand to eat and then home where they'd play outside till it started getting dark.  We all attended Sidra's shows which were held at the Civic Center here in El Cajon.  We usually would take the kids for ice cream as a treat after the show. 

Eventually the neighborhood started deteriorating and the boys got swept into it as well and they stopped going to school at 16.  They were old enough to decide, so the school district had determined, and both of them regretted it later on.  They got into gangs and I didn't even realize till later on that they were into drugs as well.  They got into trouble and one day we came home to police cars up and down our street and the road was blocked off at one end.  Alex had a  BB-gun and there was a fireman at the house next door that said he was aiming the gun at him and he called the police.  They had gone in the house and collected all the guns and knives we owned and had them in the trunk of the police car.  When all was said and done and they saw it was a BB-gun, they called us from the jail and said we could come and pick Alex up.  So Jack went and got him while I made dinner for the rest of us.  That was a day I would rather forget.  But we all survived, the boys got older and wiser and then Brian met Lorena.   I had retired from working in 1996 when Jack got offered a really good job and decided to take it and let me retire.  The job was very stressful for me, and he was worried I'd have another heart attack.  I was so happy the day he called and told me I could retire and take the early-out which meant I'd get $25,000.00 to vacate the position I was filling and they closed down the position and made one for a surveyor who would come down from somewhere in Northern California.  I was elated.  I couldn't wait to leave that job and was so thrilled to be at home at last.  We didn't get the money for about 6 weeks I think, but when we did, Jack and I went shopping and we bought the big surround sound unit for the living room as well as a new couch, and a nice recliner for Grandma.  Then I took Bri with me one day and we picked out twin mattresses for the kids.  At the time, our landlord had been coming down to check on the plumbing and made arrangements to fix some of the things that were wrong with the house. 

Lorena was still in school when she met Brian and I think she was 17.  When she was 18, she and Brian came home one day and told us that Lorena was pregnant!  We were surprised to say the least, and we made arrangements for her to move in to our house.  Brian and Sidra and me all went to Nana's house and told her together that Lorena was pregnant.  She wasn't happy about it.  She asked Lorena what about her education because Lorena had made plans to go to college.  They spoke to each other in Spanish so I don't know what they were taking about.  But then we all left and went home.  The pregnancy went fine and the day finally came that Lorena would go into labor and deliver a beautiful baby boy.

Everyone was thrilled with the new baby.    He was so tiny and sweet and we all were proud of our new grandson.  Lorena and Brian lived with us for a little while, then they moved into her Mom's house.  We'd go visit now and then and for birthdays and whenever we were envited.  Soon, Lorena told us she was pregnant again and this time she had a little girl.  They named her Venus and she wouldn't let anyone hold her but her Mom.  She had to be wrapped tightly after feeding and put in her swing and she'd fall asleep.  Lorena had to have caeserean with Venus and my daughter Sidra and I would go to their house for 6 weeks straight and clean the house and help with the baby and help Lorena.  Then there were problems between our son and Lorena's parents.  Financial problems and other things that made it very uncomfortable for them to stay there, so they moved back to our place. 

Things went fine for a  while.  Our landlord came down to do some work, saw that Brian and Lorena and the babies lived with us, in the extra room and she raised the rent so drastically that we decided we could do better finding a different place to live.  I looked and looked through papers and found that buying a manufactured home would be better afforded and so we looked into it.  We decided we liked it and went one day and made all the arrangements for having our home built the way we wanted it to be built.  We finally made a trip to the park where our house would be located and found the house had finally arrived.  We would look in the windows and see what remained to be done.  The carpet wasn't down yet, and they had to secure the home to the lot and hook up all the utilities.  When they were finished, we all moved in together and enjoyed our new home.  We gave the kids the master bedroom because they needed their own bathroom and room enough for themselves and 2 small children.

We still live here, but Lorena and the kids live at her Mom's house.  There has been a lot of water under the bridge, so they say, and Brian and Lorena are no longer together.  While they were still together, they had 2 more children and now they are older; Brian you are 13, Venus you just turned 12,
Angel you are 10 and Kris is 5.  I have been retired since I was 48, before your Mom and Dad met, and I am now 65.  I am getting old and I am very tired and we see you all for a few days every week.  We don't know the future and what might happen then, but we love all 4 of you and of course we love Alex and his family as well.  After we had moved in here, Alex met Lori when he worked at Target.  They got engaged and married and they now live in Colorado and have 3 children themselves.  Anna who is going to be 10 in April, Alex Jr. who just turned 7 and maddy who will be 5 in September.  We usually see them for a few days every year when they come out to do their taxes.  Alex recently got to come out alone and spend 9 days with us.  It's hard to say goodby and see your son leaving.  We don't know when we'll see him again.

Today we are waiting for Venus and the family to come over and celebrate Venus's 12th birthday.  Our water has been off since yesterday and the dishes can't be washed, we can't cook or clean, and we are thinking of going to buy pizza for dinner.  There are gifts, decorations are up in the living room and all that needs to happen is for all of you  to arrive. 

This blog from this point will be done on a daily basis.  It's difficult for me to remember all the things that have happened in the past, and I think I've fairly well covered my life and the things that have happened since all of you were born.  So I will focus on things that happen on a daily basis and you'll have a record of your own to read about as the time rolls by.  I hope I have covered the most important things that have happened and I will be talking to you now on a regular basis.  I love all of you with all my heart, and I am proud of you and hope to have a long and healthy life and spend a lot of time with you and watching you grow up and live your own lives.  Take care, and I will see you tomorrow!

Love You,
Grandma

Getting The Most Out of Life

Hi Grandkids!  You all seemed to like the post I put up for you just before Christmas, so I thought I'd continue with another post from my own experiences in life, and I hope you don't get too tired of Grandma's little talks.  If I didn't think they were important, I wouldn't do them.  So bear with me on these and I hope they are valuable talks for you.  I can't tell you enough how much I love all of you and how much I want to be a really good influence on your lives.  I'd be a poor excuse for a Grandma, if I didn't give you some guidelines from the lessons I've learned in life.  You all know that I am 65, and you can't imagine how much I've learned in the time I've been here.  I will share my lessons with you in the hopes you won't have to learn them the hard way, like I did.

When I was 17, I wanted to stay in California with a friend and her family, and my parent's were having to move to Minnesota.  I begged and pleaded to no avail.   My Dad was in the Navy and they moved us around all over the country.  Anyway, my Dad insisted that I go with them and so I had to leave my friends, my boyfriend, my school, and all my plans to go to college and become a court stenographer.  I had already enrolled at Southwestern Junior College, and had already passed the exam they gave us in my final year at Castle Park High School.  I loved that school and all of us had such a great time there.  The teachers were like older friends and they would really take an interest in their students.  When we left California, I cried through 3 states.  No one seemed to care, least of all my Dad.  He always said things were "God's will", but to me he said that just to get his way in everything.  He was not a godly man at all in my opinion.  He was mean to my Mom and us and whenever he wasn't home, we all got along just great.  But what I didn't count on was the eye-opening experience I would have there, in my room, alone, in a place I hated.  I despised Minnesota.  I just wanted to go home to sunny San Diego.  I missed the palm trees and the warm sun and the beaches, and my friends, my boyfriend, and all my plans.  I had had enough of moving around and I was just devastated that we had to leave.  I spent a lot of time in my room when we got there.  My parents found a beautiful home that they could afford, and I just didn't realize then that sometimes parents have to do things that make them very unpopular with their children.

I wrote letters to my friends, and once I started getting mail from them I didn't feel so bad.  I would write a lot in my spare time, stories and poems and verses from the Bible.  Then one day, I started feeling compelled to read my Bible.  Everyday I'd lay on my bed in my room and read and read every word I could.  One day, a revelation came to me and it was like a light had exploded in my head.  I suddenly had understanding of the words in the Bible.  They were more real to me than people if that makes any sense.  I was found, and knew that I'd never be alone again.  I knew that God had a reason for me to be where I was, and I stopped hating my Dad for his decision to make me go with them.  I was 17.  What does a 17 year old really know about life?  Not much.  Not the real world.  So much to learn.  That's why I want all 4 of you to do as your Mom tells you.  Don't speak back harshly to your parents.  You wouldn't do that to your Dad, and you should respect your Mother.  She carried you in her body for 9 months and brought you into the world.  Her body created you and you should respect that.  If you didn't have a Mom, you would not be here obviously.  She loves you all and you should help her way more than you do.  I'll enlighten you.  The Bible says that the main commandment for children is:  "Honor your Father and your Mother that your days may be long upon the earth."  That means, if you want a long and happy life, you must obey your parents and be respectful of them.  I changed while I lived in Minnesota.  I learned to see my parents as people who make mistakes, but who do the best that they can to give the best life possible to their children.  Not all parents are like this unfortunately.  My Mom was a quiet person, and she loved kids and animals.  She said she didn't like adults much because they were mean and selfish.  How little did I know.  How much I had to learn! 

While I was separated from my friends, and it was so long between letters from my boyfriend, God began to get my attention.  First it was in drawing me to the Bible so the words written there could begin to work the transformation in me that would change my life and allow me to deal with the awful things that were in my future.  Even though I was angry with my parents, I didn't die like I thought I would, and in the end, I understood much more than I did on the day my Dad said we were moving.  You have to understand something though about me, I had already been to 15 different schools in my 12 years of school, and I didn't want to move again.  I didn't believe it was God's will, like my Dad said it was.  But guess what?!!! It was God's will.  He gave me so much insight, and so much knowledge.  He said He would take me up if my parents deserted me, and He did.  My parent's were too busy fighting to notice any of their children and to notice the effect their fighting had on us.  My grandmother had come to see us after being in Florida with her brother after her son died.  She and my Dad didn't get along, and she said since he didn't want her there, she was going back to California where she could find work and find a place to live.  She was one of my main supporters when I decided after I'd turned 18, to move back to San Diego.  After she left, I wrote her and asked if she could help me get back to San Diego.  She sent me $50.00 and my Mom gave me the rest I'd need for my ticket.  My Mom didn't want me to go, but I told her that I wasn't going to stay and let my Dad treat me the way he treated her.  She begged me to stay.  But I told her I was leaving and that was that.  I paid for an airplane ticket and had enough for my luggage even though I was taking 65lbs over the luggage allowance.  I took all my records, all the pictures I had drawn of the Beatles, my annuals and all my clothes and my Bible.  I had turned to God in prayer one night, and I told Him, if he'd be my Father, I'd do whatever he asked of me.  And I meant it.  So, on the 30th of May, 1965, I said goodbye to my family, walked across the tarmac to the plane, got onboard and began my life's journey.  I was grown up I thought and ready to be on my own.  I'd find a job, and find a place to live and all would be gravy.  I'd surprise my boyfriend because he didn't know I was flying back to San Diego.  I'd show my Dad that I was grown up enough to be on my own.  But I didn't know what the future held for me.  Nobody ever does.  Life is what happens to you while you're making plans!  

God needed my attention so he could help me.  My friends would have been a distraction and I'd never have had peace of mind enough to look for something outside myself.  I'd have never found what I needed to sustain me in difficult times.  I just couldn't see it then.  But I do now.  Watch yourself.  Do you act differently with your friends, than you do when you're alone?  Do you follow the crowd and go nuts over the latest trends in fashion and the latest things that catch on with the crowds of people?  I bet you find yourself doing what ever is necessary to fit in.  You have to have the latest shoes, clothes and see all the latest movies and all the rest of it.  My Dad gave me some advice that stuck with me over the years.  He told me to "Be you own person, and don't follow the crowd.  They don't know where they're going any more than you do."  "Be independant."  But he's gone now, and I can't tell him how much I cried when I realized he was really gone too, and I'd never see him again here on earth.  My poor Dad.  So misunderstood, and so confused himself.  He would never take up for us.  People just walked on us at times and we had no one to take care of us.  But what I'm trying to say is that your parents are human beings.  They make mistakes.  But they do love you and only want the best for you.  

So, when you think they're being unfair, maybe they are doing what they're doing for your benefit.  Try to see it from both sides, yours and theirs.  My parent's made a lot of mistakes.  They fought a lot, and called each other awful names.  When I was young I would try to sleep with a pillow wrapped around my head so I didn't have to hear them fighting.  My grandma lived with us too and she hated my Dad and he hated her.  One time, my grandma caught my Dad getting in my Mom's purse, and instead of minding her own business, she called out to my Mom and told her that he was getting in her purse.  He told her to mind her own business and called her a hag, and she started chasing him through the house with a knife telling him she was going to cut his yellow guts out!  He picked up a wooden magazine rack and threw it at her and it hit the wall and broke into a lot of little pieces.  Magazines went everywhere, and I was always closer to my Dad than my Mom, at least at first.  It upset me to say the least.  My Dad left the house and my Mom didn't say a word to anyone.  My little sister needed new shoes because she had peed on the only ones she had and they were stiff and uncomfortable on her little feet.  I can't imagine what was going on in her little head.  She was just a little girl, without anyone to protect her.  I wasn't old enough to know what to do.  My brother was as mean as a snake and he would just laugh and do something mean when they were fighting.  They wern't paying attention to what we were doing and he would pinch me and pull my hair and call me names.  He was spoiled rotten because he was sick a lot when he was little.  Kris was sick and almost died when he was a baby and maybe that's why he gets preferential treatment.  I don't condone that.  He needs to learn that he can't have just whatever he wants, when he want's it and I don't think that's fair to anyone.  But your Mom and Dad are in charge, and even though you may not agree with them, you still have to do what they tell you to do.  Try not to get too angry because Kris will hopefully grow out of it.  It's good for him to be in school and learn how to use his "manders" as he calls manners.  He will grow and learn in school, and the older he gets the better he will be.  He will learn, even if it has to be the hard way.  So, when you have to let him have your things, even though he doesn't really know how to play it, just try to be patient and find something else to do.  That is what God would have you do.  You all need to help Kris learn how to treat others and if you're good to him and don't fight with him, he may turn around and give the game back to you.  Like the other night when he didn't want to turn off the game and leave with Mommy, he started to throw a fit and your Uncle Alex just tickled him and played with him and made him start laughing.  Then he got up, turned off the machine, and got his shoes on and got ready to leave and he was laughing.  Learn this lesson well, and it will help you deal better with Kris.  You are all a lot older than Kris and it is kind of a little bit your responsibility to deal with him in a mature way and when you can be patient and give him what you want to do without being sarcastic to your Mom, you will show him in the long run, how to behave with your brothers and sisters.  It will make a difference the more you do it.  He will learn how to give up things to others in a more mature way.  When you get mad, remember that God said to obey your Mother and your Father that you may have a long and happy life.  There are other things to do besides play on the game machines.  You have abilities that Kris hasn't developed yet.  When he learns how to read and write and do other things, the game machine won't hold as much interest for him.

But I have strayed away from what I was trying to tell you.  I will give you the same advice my Dad gave me, because in life I found out that he was right.  Don't follow the crowd.  Don't hang out with people who like to get you in trouble.  Don't do it just because "everyone else is doing it", "why can't I?"  Your parents know what's best for you.  Follow what they tell you because they have been here a lot longer than you have, and they are supposed to be your guiding influence until you are old enough to make your own decisions.  I have had a lot of bad experiences in life, and when you get older I will tell you what they were.  I take a lot of medications, a lot for my blood pressure and heart, but I take medication that affects my moods as well.  If I ever come across like I am mad at you, forgive me.  I am not mad at you, I just want to help you grow up to be good people.  I am not your parent, but I am your Grandparent, and I appreciate the respect you show for me and your love and hugs and kisses.  I realize Brian that you are growing up and don't like me to kiss you.  I have stopped doing that and won't make you uncomfortable ever again.  I love you and that's enough said.  I think you are really smart, and I think you are very talented.  You are a good "big" brother and you will make a big impact on your little brothers life.  He want's to do what you do.  It doesn't matter what it is, if he see's you do it, he'll want to too.  So be careful what you do.  Don't sass your Mom.  Don't be disrespectful to others.  Be kind and generous with your friends and pick your friends carefully.  Don't learn every curse word you can, and don't be a trouble maker in school.  There are plenty of those types around and it's sad that their parent's didn't train them better.  But don't follow that type of behavior.  Be your own person.  Make your own rules based upon what your parents and grandparents have taught you.  You probably know from being here so much, we don't have tons of money.  We don't go out to eat very often and we give you toys on your birthday and Christmas.  I'd love to take you all shopping and buy you things, and this coming year, I will save money for such things as that.  But we don't try to get every dollar we can by working 5 of 6 jobs.  We don't live above our means, and we have other interests besides money.  It is good to learn that you have to work for your money.  But don't love money so much you'd give up having a normal life just to have tons of money.  The Bible says, "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil!"  To love money is a worldly thing and you can't love God and put him first and love MONEY, more than you love God or your parents and brothers and sisters.  People matter.  Not how much money they have. 

There use to be a statue you could buy that had 3 little monkeys on it.  The first one was "See no evil", and he had his hands over his eyes.  The next one was "Hear no evil", and he had his hands over his ears, and the last one was "Speak no evil", and he had his hands over his mouth.  If you remember these 3 things, you will be ahead of the game of life.  Don't watch evil things, don't listen to evil, and don't speak evil of others.  Guard your heart and mind for in these two areas, you decide what kind of a life you are going to live.  Protect your heart and your mind, by not allowing evil intents to enter your heart, and no evil thoughts to enter your mind.  What you think, you become.  The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."  What you think, you become.  Try to be a pleasant person, always looking for ways to help others.  Sew the seeds of kindness and generosity, and goodness and fairness and when you grow old, you can look back on a life well lived and have no regrets.  Take advantage of your youth and learn as much as you can about the world you live in and your place in the grand scheme of things.  You have a purpose in life.  It is up to you to find out what that purpose is.  You aren't here to decorate the planet.  You are here to learn, grow wise, live a godly life, be kind to others, and set a good example for those who are younger and more inexperienced than you are.  Don't display ill manners and be a sarcastic person.  Try to be helpful and look for ways to show your kindness to others.  You are what you think.  Guard your mind well.  It is the root of all knowledge and you need to gain wisdom as you go through life.  Please, learn as much as you can and don't be foolish with your time.  Time is fleeting.  It goes by quickly.  I am 65, and yet I can remember being 18 and it doesn't seem so long ago.  But the time went by fast, and I learned a lot, and I am still here to teach you how to be good people and give you advice that will carry you a long way in life.  I am the oldest member of the Tyler family, and am considered the Matriarch of the family.  I deserve respect and you always give me that.  You love me and I love you and hopefully it will always be that way.  I will never stop loving you, and I hope I don't ever make you upset with me, because I would be so very sad if you didn't love me anymore.  You all mean so much to me and I love you and think you are all smart and good people. 

My friends, as I was saying earlier, proved not to have my best interest at heart.  They were worldly and didn't care about me.  Not really.  They had their own agenda, as people do, and I got left out in the cold because I trusted them.  You must be careful who you trust.  Pick your friends well.  Use discretion in all your activities and be good to your siblings.  I know siblings fight, I fought with my brother.  But as the oldest one of the children, I was expected to set the example.  I did my best to do that, but they didn't choose to follow me.  I still made decisions that got me a long way in life.  I had a lot to offer to the right person.  And God sent Jack into my life to love me and protect me from people who would use me.  Jack is 2 years younger than I am, but he has always made me feel about 18.  He has a lot of experience in life and he was in the Viet Nam War when he was only 17.  He did 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam and at one point, he was on the very front end of the boat with 2 machine guns.  One for each hand.  He could have been hit by a bullet so easily, but God protected him because he was meant to be right where he is today.  A part of our family.  He is the Patriarch of the Tyler family, and he also deserves your respect.  Grandpa has a lot of knowledge.  He is sometimes hard to understand, and often he get's mad easy, but he has experienced a lot in life and he and I are best friends as well as husband and wife.  That's how it's always been for us.  We were friends first, and then learned to love each other.  It wasn't hard.  I still love him as much as I did on the day I married him.  He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and he gave me a family to love and raise and take care of.  I hope I did a good job.  I did the best I knew how and my kids all love me, and hopefully all my grandkids will always love me too. 

I only have your best interest in mind when I write these words for you.  They are meant to be a guideline for you in this crazy world with all it's complexity and division.  One of the best things you can be is a peacemaker.  Someone who can bring sense and reason to any given situation.  It is hard being a peacemaker, because you have to see all sides of the picture.  But it is so rewarding because whenever you bring peace to a situation, you grow a little more in stature and in understanding.  God smiles on the peacemakers.  Bring unity and peace to every situation you can, and you will have a rich and rewarding life.  When you are selfish and mean, you only have all your own things to keep you company, because other people will steer clear of you.  Nobody wants to be around somebody that is selfish and mean.  They bring no good to every situation they are in.  Selfish and mean makes you ugly when you get old.  If you've enjoyed your life, you will be a happier person and you'd be surprised to know that it takes more muscles in your face to frown, than it does to smile.  Practice smiling at people.  You may not always get a smile back, but it grows on you.  When you make eye contact with someone, smile at them.  You'd be surprised what a difference a smile can make in some's life who is having a hard time.

I guess what I am trying to say in a nut-shell, is to be on your good behavior and don't fight with your brother's and sister's.  You are a team.  You are all on the same team.  You can have disagreements, without hating one another.  Your sisters need you to be a protector and have their best interest at heart.  Your brothers look at you to see how they should behave.  Just be aware as you go through life, that you aren't here on planet earth alone.  We are all here together and we all need to work together, to make planet earth the best we possibly can for everyone.  Unity.  Peace.  Power in silence.  Read and learn, grasshoppers.  Read and learn.

Love you, and if you want me to go back to telling you about my own life, then I'll do that.  If you like these pointers about life and your role in the grand scheme of things, I will continue in the vein.  I am your friend, your grandmother, and I love you.  I'd be happy to talk with you about anything I tell you here on this blog.  I am trying to leave you a legacy that will enrich your life, and teach you many things from my store of experience. 

Love to all of You,
Grandma

   

The Value of Expressing Yourself

Good Morning grandchildren!  I know you are anxious to get the next few days done and overwith because next Wednesday is your last day of school and Christmas will be here on Sunday!  But that's a few days off and you have some shopping to do.  You are all secret Santa's this year and I think you will have a lot of fun surprising your brother or sister. 

I want to go back a little bit to when I first met your Grandpa.  We both were working in the same office and we started dating and I've covered all that earlier.  But there is one thing I didn't talk about and I want to try to convey to you what it has done for me over the years.  Your Grandpa is not a Christian, he is a Taoist.  That is an ancient Chinese Way, or as you would call it, a religion.  They don't beleve in a Supreme Being, the way Christians believe in God.  But the Tao is the life force of the Universe and for me, after reading his books for 35 years, the Tao and my God are one in the same.  I am a Christian, and always have been.  But the Tao books have helped me tremendously to understand the deeper aspects of how God's spirit is manifested in the Universe, and I studied his books until the pages have all come loose from the binding.  I plan to get a small binder and use a hole punch and put the loose pages in the binder so they don't get lost.  Because there is so much to learn about the Tao, I will start with a lesson that helped me to overcome personal problems that have been a detriment to me as a person.  This lesson will really benefit you if you learn it young and don't wait for problems to start piling up in your head and your heart.  Listen well, and try to put these truths into practice and you will have a fruitful life.  Being in touch with the life force of the Universe is a great power that you can use all your life, and the younger you learn about it, the more your life will flow smoothly.  You will of course run into obstacles in your path, and you will have to deal with them.  But this will give you knowledge that few people have.  You will rise above the difficulties in life and it is important to know that you will have to deal with these problems instead of just saying God will handle it for me.  You are given a life to live, and even though God created you and has knowledge of you that no one else has, still you must live your life and it is inevitable that you will face obstacles.  We all do.  This lesson is a combination of 2 of the Taoist parables.  The first aspect is about expressing yourself.  It has helped me over the years to maintain a journal.  In this journal, I have expressed my innermost thoughts about things.  It is important that you have a personal self and keep track of your dreams and thoughts as you go through life.  There will be things you don't want to express outloud about others who may have offended you, or problems you are having in school or at home.  Expressing yourself in a journal helps you keep track of what's important to you at any given time.  You must express what is within you because if you don't, you will be stunted emotionally and all the anger, or frustration, or even joy you have about any given situation will grow stagnant like a dirty body of water where your reflection is cloudy.  You can't function adequately in life with all the built up resentment you may feel.  You may feel you can't tell a person how you feel because it would hurt them.  You still have to express that anger or the pain someone may have caused you.  I have had many journals and I used to think that they were too repetitous and of little value.  But, the very lesson I read this morning in the Tao Book was about water.  The weakest element in the Universe.  But water can render mountains sand over time.  The ocean can destroy things after an earthquake by developing tidal waves.  But all water starts as drops.  Water is relentless.  Even so, repetitious prayers can reduce your problems over time until they are rendered helpless to stop the titanic force that is your spirit. 

Your spirit is your life force.  What you call it doesn't matter.  You can call it God, or the Tao, or whatever name you choose to apply to it.  But you must respect it.  You need to respect yourself and take good care of your body, as your body is the house for your spirit and that unites you.  You don't want to always put in bad food.  If you constantly eat bad food, and are slovenly in your habits, your spirit will grow cloudy and contaminated and anything you try to do will be tainted with bad habits.  You must keep your body clean, you must feed it the proper food, and you must exercise to keep all your joints and muscles and tendons and bones in top condition so your body will serve you and your life will be all you want it to be.  I haven't always known this, and that is evident because Grandma is overweight.  I was never taught to eat the right foods, was fed the wrong things while I was too young to understand that good nutrition will prevent many chronic diseases that can end your life.  My family on my mother's side all had coronary artery disease and they all died young with problems with their hearts.  I too have coronary artery disease, I had a heart attack at 43 years of age.  My Grandfather died at 43 with a heart attack, my mother's brother died at 46, and my own mother died at 55.  My father died at 65 of pneumonia, after having open heart surgery which gave him massive strokes because the heart and lung machine they hooked his body up to failed and the results left him unable to move on his own.  He was bedfast for the rest of his life and had to be fed by a tube in his throat.  They would pour liquid food into a container that had a tube attached to it and the other end of the tube was inserted into his throat and down into his stomach.  All of these things could have been prevented if they had taken the proper care of their bodies.  I have been heavy all my life except for one year when I had lost a lot of weight.  I didn't lose it the right way, and when you don't change your basic eating habits, you will be facing a life of going up and down in your weight and you will never be succesful at living a healthy life.  What you put into your body is important.  All my family members smoked, except me.  I don't have hardened arteries like my mother and father because I never smoked.  This is a dangerous habit.  It will kill you.  My mother never changed her eating habits, and didn't do anything to try and stop smoking.  She literally killed herself with food and cigarettes.  The reason I am still alive is because when I had my heart attack, I learned about the changes I would have to make in order to live, and I made the changes.  We don't eat bacon, sausage, greasy foods, pork, fatty red meat's, and so on.  We started eating more fish, chicken, vegetables, fresh fruit, less cheese, and so on.  I ate Healthy Choice dinners every night and lowered my cholesterol.  The diet I am on now is to reduce the amount of fat I have in my blood.  It will bring down my tryglicerides which is what the fat is called.  It has been a struggle for me all my life, simply because I developed bad eating habits and led a life with little or no exercise.  I am telling you this because you need to know that eating pizza and fast food will eventually put weight on your body that will be difficult to lose.  The amount of candy and cake and cookies and all the rest of the sweet category will put pounds on your body that are harmful to your health.  Learn now.  I will teach you and try to help you eat healthy.  I need to change even more of what I eat because I want to lose as much weight as I can safely.  There is a right way to lose weight, and it's not by getting shots that do it for you, or having liposuction or an operation that ties off a part of your stomach so you can't eat as much.  You have to develop healthy eating habits when you are young so you never have to go through what I have been through.  It's important.  Supremely important to take care of your body.  Your spirit needs a healthy body to express itself with.  The Tao is life.  Your spirit is who you really are.  You want to be strong and healthy and vibrant with this life force.  It will guide you, and enlighten you and give you power.

There are many different religions in the world, they all think they are the best and everyone else is wrong.  Not so.  We are all striving for the same thing.  Peace.  There is a mountain you must ascend and at the top of that spiritual mountain is the power of the Universe, or God, or The Tao, or The Buddha, etc.  As I said before, it doesn't matter what you call it.  It is all the same force that created everything and existed before all time.   If you want to know more about this, you can talk to your Grandpa about it.  He knows things about it that I haven't discovered yet.  But I read the Tao lessons every day and I also read about God and the way of the Buddha.  I find great enjoyment in this, and great power to live my life and to be a strong person for myself, and my family.  I pray every day, meditate and listen to what Venus calls my Hypnosis Music.  I find great peace and serenity in this life, and I appreciate everything the Universe has seen fit to send my way.  What you give out, comes back to you.  You all mean the world to me and I look at your perfect young bodies and your beautiful faces and I try to feed you healthy foods.  The most important thing though is to have healthy thoughts.  What you think, you eventually become.  If you are always angry and frustrated, that's what you become.  If you are peaceful and kind and loving, that will be what you become.  And you are allowed to make that choice for yourself.

Please listen and consider and think about what I am telling you.  I love you more than words can say, and I don't ever want to come to see you in the hospital because you are sick with diseases that could have been prevented.  I want to enlighten you, because I see you as gifts from God.  You bring me great joy and great happiness and I have a duty to you just like I had with my own children.  I don't want to fail you and I want you to be healthy in your body, your mind, and your spirit.  There is so much to learn in life, but what I am telling you is the most important.  Find your center early in life.  Go within, to your heart and discover what lies there dormant, waiting for you to discover it.  Life is an adventure.  You can live it with gusto, and look forward to every new day as something wonderful!  A challenge from the Universe to live the best day of your life, every day.  The choice is up to you.  Will you be pessimisic and sour about life, or will you embrace that life force and change the world for the better by who you become?  This is the silent question that the Universe is asking you.  Who will you be?  Make a choice and follow through.  The Universe is waiting to help you.  A wise man once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world".  This is one of the wisest things I've ever read, and I try to do it every day.  This entry is my best Christmas gift to you.  I hope you'll read it and take from it the love I feel for you.  It's monumetal, this choice....it can change your whole life.

Merry Christmas Grandkids!  I love you all!
Love, Grandma 

Our First Christmas Together

I am going to revert for a little, to the Christmases we have shared, first as husband and wife, and then as parents. The very first Christmas we had together, we had no tree. We had a plastic palm tree in our living room which I had bought for my second apartment. We were married the day before on my birthday. We went shopping that afternoon for the gifts for our families, and we really hadn't given a tree a second thought. We hung our Christmas cards on the palm tree, and exchanged our gifts, a sweater for me, which I still have, and a hat for Jack, which I think ended up in storage. We were out and about most of Christmas day, delivering gifts and drinking Tom and Jerry's at Jack's Moms house. We got home late and I think we went for a drive through "Camelot" (my name for San Diego).

By the next Christmas, we had our twin sons. We strapped them in their Gerry Bags, strapped them to ourselves, and we went shopping for a tree. Of course people wanted to see the twins and they were so little. One elderly lady expressed her concern over having them out and about as little as they were, but we were proud parents and loved taking them with us everywhere. We bought a 3' artificial tree and some lights and took it home. Jacks Grandma gave us some ornaments that had belonged to her mother, and we had bought some of our own. We spent the day taking care of the babies and decorating for Christmas. That evening I brought the babies out to the living room in their bassinet and put them close to the tree. The lights were glowing sofly on their baby blankets and reflected in their blue eyes. My heart was so full of happines and joy. We had a friend over for dinner, and he told Jack, "You have it all." And we still do.

We kept the little tree for quite a while and we have pictures of the boys standing in front of the tree when they were about 2. They loved looking at the lights and presents and it was difficult to have them wait to open everything. We moved shortly thereafter because Alex developed Asthma and the house was damp and it was hard on him. We looked for a place and found an apartment in Casa De Oro, where it wasn't as cold and damp. We moved in and enjoyed our new surroundings. We had a dishwasher, which was a big help, and close to our place was the laundry facility, which also was a big help. We used the little tree once again, and Christmas was rather sparse that year. By the next year, we were in a different apartment, but used the same tree. We had a little more money and bought the kids everything we could. We had a pool, the laundry was right at the foot of the stairs, and we were really close to the grocery stores. We were there for a few years, and then we moved to the house we were to live in for the next 17 years.

At the new house, I was sick one year, and Jack and the kids decorated the tree, while I laid on the sofa with a tissue box, some tissues and cough drops and cold medicine. The year before, they had gone out while I was cleaning and it was right after Christmas. They found a huge tree that was marked down to half the orignal price so the kids lined up, and Jack pushed the tree over and the kids caught it, and they all carried it out of the store and brought it home. I don't really remember now what happened to the little tree. We had used it for years and it was getting sort of tattered and used up. The big tree was used for years. I have always loved Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year and we always tried to do well by the kids, and each other.

Now the kids are grown, and we have 7 grandchildren to shop for as well as the adults. There are now 14 members in the family, not including the in-laws and it has gotten more expensive. We all have a great time, and this year, we sort of have more of a handle on things, and started decorating sooner and buying things in advance of the Christmas rush.

This year my daughter and two of our granddaughters are busy decorating the outside of the house and the inside is already done and it's only the 5th of December. On the 9th we will get our Christmas money and the rush to shop will be on.

One year, when our first grandson was about 4, his little sister Venus got a baby bed for her doll, and having a fire place, we of course had a fire. Little Brian decided he wanted to go to sleep, and climbed into the doll bed by the fire. He was so warm and cozy he drifted off to sleep and we still haven't figured out how he managed to curl himself up small enough to fit in the doll bed, but we have pictures to show him when he's grown. He is 13 now and taller than I am. Four of our grandchildren live in San Diego, and the other 3 live in Colorado. But even with 4 children and 5 adults to shop for, the living room is usually packed with presents.

All in all, we all have a great time. This year, my husband had to get his truck fixed and that took $1,738.00. But we are still going to have a merry holiday, and the kids will be shopping for one another this year as well. We are trying to get across to them that it is more blessed to give than to receive and they are making an effort to be more mature and think of others this year. They all picked names, and will be purchasing something nice for one another.

Christmas is a fun time of year, a chance to let your loved ones know you care about them, and to enjoy the fun of opening presents, baking Christmas goodies, and sharing a good meal. We have a home, a fireplace that makes it cozy, and even a beautiful Beagle to make the picture complete. He likes to lay by the fire and sleep. It seems that's about it for him, he sleeps, barks at the mail-man and everyone else that walks up the street, and eats everything in sight! Still, he's lovable and beautiful and our home wouldn't be the same without him.

The other day the children were all here in the evening and we all watched the Polar Express and had soda and popcorn. It's the little things that make Christmas so special. This year our youngest grandson is 4 and the girls are 10 and 11, and our oldest grandson is 13. We will have a lot of fun together and I have the best Christmas present of all, a family.

Look around this year at the little things that make Christmas special. You don't have to be rich to enjoy Christmas. It's the love in your heart that makes it special. Give generously of your love, and make your home a warm and inviting place for all.

Merry Christmas to All,
Bonnie